Heavy In Your Arms
by RachyDoodle
Summary: They found him. They changed him. They left him. Edward Cullen never wanted a vampire's life, but when he becomes darkness itself, only one girl can save him and bring him back into the light. Rated M for lang, lemons and violence. OOC, cannon pairing
1. Prologue

**Hello there, and welcome to my newest story, 'Heavy In Your Arms'.**

**For those of you reading 'Worlds Apart', I haven't abandoned that story, I'm merely writing two stories at the same time. I aimed to finish 'Worlds Apart' first before I even began this one, but it's been niggling at me for a while now, so I decided to bite the bullet and just upload.**

**I'm very excited for this story, and if it plays out like I have it pictured in my head, its gonna be good ;) It will be told from both Edward and Bella's point of view. I'll indicate whose pov it is at the start of each chapter.**

**It's rated M for the usual stuff - language, lemons, violence. So don't come complaining to me if you don't like it. You have been warned.**

**This chapter is merely the prologue. Regular chapters will be much longer.**

**So, without further ado, on with the show…**

**All songs and song titles used throughout this story belong to their respective owners.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. My imagination isn't that good.**

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Edward Cullen's Point of View

When you stand there, balancing on the line between life and death, they always say that your life flashes before your eyes like some cheesy montage with shitty music.

Some bits you enjoy, some bits you hate, some bits you wonder why your mind even thought of those moments. Some memories are played out in slow motion. Others have that blurry frame around the edge to make it all dream-like and lovely. You remember your childhood, your adulthood, the good memories, the bad memories, even the memories that you had long forgotten. It's all played out for you, every moment is there, your whole shit life is flashed right before your eyes, filling your memory until the lights go out, until the last breath leaves your body and you drop down dead.

_Goodbye, world. I've kicked the bucket!_

None of that happened to me, because I wouldn't exactly call my last living moments a death. If you want to get all technical on my ass, then yes, I am actually dead, but not in the way you're thinking. I'm not buried in some church graveyard where the world can forget about me and get on with its life. I don't have a posh gravestone that will fade through the years until some ugly overgrown weed will cover it. People didn't come to my funeral and weep, moaning how they would miss me and what a truly great person I was. I don't even have a fucking coffin, though many people think we sleep in those.

You see, I'm not dead. I'm the _living_ dead. I walk, I talk, I breathe, but I'm dead. Those three fuckers made sure of that. On first appearances I seem perfectly alive, like nothing is wrong. You would probably call me mad for even thinking I was remotely dead. But I'm pale, I'm cold, I fucking sparkle in the sun for Christ's sake. Not normal behavior for someone with a beating heart, huh? Yeah, that organ doesn't work either.

Most people would be creeped out by this, right? After all, not many people take kindly to you when you reveal that you're a bloodthirsty vampire, ready to kill them for one single drop of food. They don't take too well to the whole blood sucking thing. But a vampire has to survive. It's not my fault I crave blood rather than a Big Mac. I freak people out, I scare people. Most people tend to give me a wide berth, even in the day, just because I'm the world's most dangerous predator.

But Bella? Well, she isn't most people. Far from it. She is too special to be labelled with 'most people'.

Bella's my best friend, has been since I was 4 years old. And fuck, do I love that girl. The term 'best friend' doesn't really cover what she means to me. She is my fucking rock, my lifeline, my reason for continuing with my life after what happened to me. If it wasn't for her, I would have said goodbye to this world a long time ago. I rely on her, I lean on her, I fucking live for that girl.

Where most people are frightened of me and keep their distance, Bella doesn't. No matter how many times I warn her away or tell her the dangers of what I am, her stubbornness shines through and she stays at my side. She doesn't care what I am, she doesn't care about the monster I've become. To her, I am still Edward, her best friend of 17 years, and I always will be. So instead of running away and screaming, she holds my hand, she helps me through the tough times, she is strong and brave for the both of us, getting me and her through my problems. She puts up with all my shit because she's my best friend, and I will be eternally grateful to her for that.

Like I said, she's my fucking rock.

But the problem is I love her, like full out love her. I love her like a best friend should not love another best friend. I adore her, worship her, I am fucking delirious with her! Bella is everything to me and so much more. It hasn't always been this way. When we were kids, she was just Bella, the girl from next door who happened to be my best friend. We went to school together and made our way through life together. She was a year younger than me, and she was a girl, but I didn't care, because Bells was my best buddy in the whole wide world.

Then puberty kicked in. I grew a dick and Bella grew tits and suddenly she wasn't a girl anymore. She was a woman, and boy, what a woman she has become. No one is as beautiful as Bella. Long flowing hair, big brown doe eyes, the sexiest little blush when she is embarrassed. She is everything I could ever want and more. She is still my best friend, but I am in love with her like there was no tomorrow.

Then I was attacked… Then I was bitten… Then I became the monster, and any future I hoped to have with Bella flew right out of the window. I'll never tell her my true feelings and, despite her staying by my side through all of this, I never will. I love her too much to make her go through the hell that would be a relationship with me. She deserves someone warm, someone who actually has a beating heart. She deserves someone who doesn't need to kill another human in order to eat. She deserves someone normal, and I would let her have that.

I'm still selfish enough to keep her in my life, though. A future boyfriend can have access to her, but no motherfucker is going to take her from me. Bella is mine and I need her. I'll never let her go, not for a second, not for anyone. If I'm going to survive this life as a so-called 'creature of darkness', I need my best friend with me. I can't do this without her.

Still, life hasn't always been this depressing and dramatic. I used to have a good life once, back when I was a living, breathing human. That all changed, though, didn't it?

Then I became a vampire. Here is my story…

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**I'm also on twitter if anyone is interested. I'm rachydoodle03. The link is on my profile.**


	2. Just friends

**Hello, everyone!**

**A huge thanks to blueheart93, WeFallForever, rosaliehale1994, chritbella, VampLover109 and cheshirekat516 for reviewing the prologue. Also a massive thanks to everyone who favorited and alerted.**

**So, on with the next chapter. Rather than move the plot along, this chapter sort of explains Edward and Bella's relationship, which was alluded to in the prologue. I need to explore their relationship and let you know how things are between them before I can move on with the rest of the story. I hope you all enjoy it. As ever, let me know what you think.**

**There's also a banner been made for this story, as well as my other stories. They can be found on my profile. I also aim to create a playlist for this story, which I will post on my profile soon.**

**This chapter is named after "Just Friends" by the Jonas Brothers. Now, I understand that I am a 20-year-old woman, but the J-Bros are sort of my guilty pleasure. I can't help it, and I was even sad enough to see them in concert last year. I am ready to take all insults now, but be gentle!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. But neither do you, so there!**

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Bella Swan's Point of View

I was pissed. No, I was beyond pissed. I was fucking seething.

And why was I seething? Because it was raining… yet again.

I had put on my brand new converse today - which I had got on sale, by the way - thinking it would be safe to finally unleash those babies after keeping them in the box for a month, when the rain had to fall down and fuck them up! Great. No more pristine white converse for me to show off, they were now completely mashed.

I was pissed.

"But that's how converse are supposed to be, Bella," said my best friend, Edward, as he drove my truck home that afternoon. His bright and cheery attitude was annoying me. How can someone be so optimistic when my chucks are so ruined? I swear he is brain-dead sometimes. "You buy them, you mash them, you wear them. It's like the law or something."

"Fuck off, Edward," I muttered with my arms folded across my chest. I was in no mood for his bullshit. I had saved them for an entire month, and the rain had ruined them in a matter of seconds. I was so pissed off that I didn't even want to drive my bright orange Chevy truck home from town, and that never happens. That truck is my baby. Only _I _drive the Chevy.

Edward just chuckled at my words, pissing me off even more. I freakin' loved the ass off that guy, but right now he was laughing at my messed up chucks, and I wasn't having that.

"No need for language," he grinned. He could talk. Edward swears like there's no tomorrow, he's the biggest potty-mouth I know! "Besides, it could be worse."

"How can this possibly be worse?" I asked. "How can _anything_ possibly be worse than the ruined shoes on my feet, huh?"

"It could be the truck that's mashed up instead."

I glared at him, my eyes morphing into narrow slits, shooting deathly daggers his way. "Don't even think about something like that," I said.

"It's raining… Think of all the mud along the wheels, all the dirt damaging the paint, all those little shards of rock scratching the body work…" He was enjoying this far too much. His smirk was too cocky.

"Edward, stop it!" I yelled, almost ready to hit him. I would have if he hadn't been driving. Crashing my truck and killing Edward and I in the process was not on my to-do list today. So he got lucky that I managed to keep my fists to myself. Fucker.

But nothing could happen to my truck, nothing. I didn't even want to consider how I'd live without the thing. My dad had brought it me for my 17th birthday, right after I had passed my driving test, and it had literally been love at first sight. That truck was like my child, like my husband. I even think I'd sacrifice Edward before I'd sacrifice the truck... Well, no, maybe I wouldn't go that far, but the truck was still pretty damn fucking special to me. Ruined shoes were bad, but a ruined truck was catastrophic.

"The converse don't seem so bad when you think about the what ifs, do they?" he smiled as he finally broke me. He was right. The converse didn't seem as bad after he discussed what could happen to my baby. I supposed they did look a little better with some dirt and wear-and-tare. As Edward said, it was the law for them to look like that.

"No, I suppose they don't," I agreed, the faintest smile grazing my lips. I hated it when he was right, it always made him seem smug and full of himself. But most of the time when he acted that way, he _was_ right, and it always cheered me up. I loved him for that.

Edward and I had been best friends for the past seventeen years. At 21, he was a year older than I was, but he was the best damn friend a girl could ever ask for. We were inseparable, the two of us constantly joined at the hip, we had been since day one. I'd be nothing without Edward. We had been through everything together. The good, the bad, the rough, the smooth, boyfriends, girlfriends, fights, everything. But through it all, we had remained strong and together.

He was my Eddy-Bear and I was his Bellsy-Boo, and we'd be together till the end of time.

I suppose being next-door neighbors helped this friendship develop, something we didn't even know about until after we had initially met. I used to live in Phoenix, Arizona, but my dad, Charlie, got a job as Chief of Police in the dreary little town of Forks, which meant me, my mom, my dad and my elder brother, Emmett, had to pack up and move to Washington.

It wasn't too bad, I was only 3 years old at the time, so it made no real difference to me where we lived as I hadn't really had time to appreciate Phoenix enough to miss it. But the sudden cold and rain of Washington was a fucking shock to the system. None of us were ready for that shit!

Still, after the big move, mom took Emmett and I to the local park to give us a chance to let some steam off and know the area better. It went well at first. I went on the swings, the slide, the round-a-bout, Emmett helped me over the monkey bars, the park was great… until the big kids showed up. Well, I say big, they were 6, Emmett's age, but to a 3 year old, the 6 year olds were the big kids.

There were three of them, all boys, and only two of us, so we were out numbered from the start. Basically, they wanted my swing, and Emmett, being the protective big brother, said no. Well, they didn't exactly take too kindly to the new kids saying that, so a fight broke out. Emmett was pretty big for his age, still is, so he took one of them down straight away. The little toe-rag ran straight to his mommy, crying and screaming like a pussy. Emmett was just starting on the second one when the third went for me, pushing me from the swing and knocking me flat on my ass, causing me to cry. Kids can be mean, sometimes.

That's when I met Edward.

In a flash, a little 4 year old Edward showed up and chased the third guy away, saving me whilst Emmett finished off the second. I didn't know where Edward had come from, but his smiling face was there to greet me as he offered me a hand and helped me up.

And the rest, as they say, was history.

His mom met my mom, they got talking, found out we were neighbors. Small world, huh? Edward and I have been inseparable ever since.

I really don't know what I'd do without Edward, I really don't. He's… special. He's more than my best friend, he's my lifeline, my other half, my buddy, my pal, my everything. He's the yin to my yang, the Laurel to my Hardy, the Chuck to my Norris. Life would suck without him in it, it just wouldn't be worth living. Edward is simply perfect in every possible way, and he is the only essential to my life. I don't need food, water is nothing, and air is over-rated. All I need to survive is Edward, and life without him isn't a life at all.

He is my hero, always has been, always will be.

And he was being my hero now, cheering me up when I felt my worst. As I said, he always knew how to make me feel better.

"Thanks, Edward," I smiled as I shuffled closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, his vanilla and musky scent calming me instantly.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer. "No problem, Bellsy-Boo. You know I hate to see you sad."

"They are only converse, I suppose. They do look better when mashed."

"See? I told ya," he smiled. "Trust me, those things look fucking amazing with a bit of dirt and mud on them."

I lifted my foot up for us both to see and wriggled my ankle. "They do, don't they?"

And then things fell back into their regular pattern, the cold and upsetting air disappearing as quickly as I could click my fingers. The atmosphere suddenly became warm and tolerable again. I didn't want to lash out and kick the living daylights out of Edward for teasing me, I wanted to remain in his hug for helping me.

We drove in a comfortable silence after that, my head far too comfy to remove itself from Edward's padded shoulder. We shouldn't be wearing coats in the summer, but Forks didn't exactly stick to those rules. Nope, everywhere else had glittering sunshine and we got stuck with pouring rain, 365 days a year. The weather here had always been fucked up. It was the middle of June, and there wasn't a ray of sunshine in sight.

It didn't bother us, though, at least not as much as it should. We were finally home again after months of waiting, so even the weather could not stop us.

Edward and I attended Seattle University, me studying English and Edward studying music. Edward, bless his cotton socks, even took a year out so that he could wait for me and we could go to university together. Like I said, I freakin' love that guy. We even shared an apartment in Seattle, sharing the rent and the food bills… even though Edward was the one who ate the most food. I swear, he could eat and eat and eat, and he wouldn't put on a bit of weight. I only had to look at a cake and I'd put on ten pounds. The guy was just physically blessed.

But now that summer had arrived, we had come home, back to Forks, and we couldn't be happier.

I love my best friend, but I also missed my family… mom, dad, Emmett, my 10-year-old younger sister, Bree. Seeing them at only Christmases and birthdays could make you homesick, so Edward and I had decided from the very beginning that we would come home every summer instead of staying in Seattle. We had been home for 3 weeks now, and were currently on the way back from our shopping trip into town.

"Mom's cooking chicken for dinner, if you want to come over," I said to Edward as he turned down our road.

"I'm there," he grinned without hesitation. "I fucking adore your mother's cooking."

And that he did. Even if Edward and I hated the sight of each other and decided never to see each other again, he'd still show up at my house everyday purely to sample my mother's cooking.

She was an odd one, my mother, and when I say odd, I mean ridiculously so. Whereas Charlie is very quiet and reserved, my mother, Renee, is as in your face as a woman could get. She is loud, cheery, funny and hyperactive to the extreme. It's clear to see where Emmett gets his crazy side from. But no matter how odd she is, her cooking is insane. The woman could be a world famous chef, Edward would vouch for that.

We finally reached home and Edward pulled my truck onto the drive and cut the engine. I reluctantly pulled away from my comfy spot on his shoulder and unbuckled my seatbelt, the pair of us getting out of the car, grabbing our few shopping bags on the way. Edward threw me my keys as I lifted them up to unlock the front door, the two of us hurrying indoors to get out of the rain. The scent of dinner filled the house.

Edward sighed as he took off his coat and hung it up. "Seriously, Bells. How does your mother do it? My mom's cooking isn't a patch on your's."

He was right. Elizabeth Cullen was one of the most sweetest and kindest and beautiful women in the world. She was so prim and proper and perfect in everyway… but her cooking was fucking awful! And I mean truly god-damn awful. She could probably find a way to burn soup! I had to wonder sometimes whether my own mother's cooking was really that good, or whether it just seemed amazing next to Elizabeth's.

"Is that you home, Bella?" I heard my mom call from the kitchen.

"Sure is," I replied as I hung my own jacket up, slipping my muddy converse off by the front door. "Is it okay if Edward stays for dinner, too?"

"Of course, honey," she said as we walked into the kitchen. She was just peeling the vegetables. "How are you, Edward?"

"I'm good, Mrs. S," Edward grinned, his nostrils flaring at the smell of the chicken. I could practically see the drool rolling down his chin. I merely rolled my eyes.

"Come on," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him away. "I've got shopping bags to sort through."

I knew he was upset to leave the delightful smell coming from the kitchen, but he came anyway. He always did, we were never one without the other.

We ran up the stairs, my voice screaming and laughing all the way as Edward tried to grab my legs from behind me and trip me up. He always did that, it was one of the many games we liked to play, and you'd think I'd have learnt my lesson by now. He wasn't as bad as he used to be, he used to grab me and throw me around to beat me in our races up the stairs. Then one night, when I was 13 and he was 14, I accidentally kicked him in the balls out of mere retaliation. He spent the rest of the night sitting down in pain, yelling how he'd never have children because of me. I wanted to feel sorry for him, I really did, but his high-pitched voice was fucking hilarious and the giggles just wouldn't stop. He never tried it again. I would now win the race every time, and this instance was no different.

We walked along the hallway once we reached the top of the stairs, heading for my room.

"Bellaaaaaaa," sang Emmett's voice from behind the door of his room. My brother was 23 years old and the biggest kid I knew.

"Yes?" I asked as I opened his door and stuck my head around, looking inside. He was sitting on his bed, his best friend, Jacob, on the floor, x-box controllers in both their hands.

"Did you get me my cigarettes?" he asked, pausing his game and giving me a huge goofy grin.

"Here," I said throwing them at him. "And don't let dad see you with them." Last time dad caught Emmett smoking, he threw his ass out of the house for 4 days. Poor guy ended up crashing at Jacob's with nothing but the clothes on his back and the twelve dollars that was in his pocket.

"I'll bare that in mind. Tell Edward I said hello."

"Will do. Hey, Jake," I quickly added, trying not to seem rude.

I'd known Jacob for years. He and Emmett had met in high school whilst playing on the school's football team, and they still remained close friends, even to this day. Emmett still coached the team in his spare time, when he wasn't at work in the construction yard. Jake was a mechanic, owned his own shop and everything.

Jake was six-feet tall with dark russet skin and short black hair. I didn't exactly have a crush on my brother's best friend, but I did think he was ridiculously handsome. Not as handsome as Edward is, but still enough to make your panties wet and your legs turn to jelly. He was no stranger to a female admirer or two, trust me. I was one of them!

"Hey, Bella," Jake grinned as I quickly waved and left the room before I could blush, closing the door behind me.

I entered my own room, soon finding Edward already lounging across my bed, flicking through the channels on my television.

"Why don't you just make yourself comfy, Edward?" I joked as I began sorting through the shopping bags Edward had brought into the room for me.

"Already have," he said smugly, winking as I walked past him to my wardrobe.

"Bastard," I muttered under my breath as I began putting my newly brought clothes away. I'd brought a few tops, a new pair of jeans and a dress for Jessica Stanley's birthday party two weeks from now. She was an old school friend and her 21st was coming up.

"You know it," he chuckled as he finally settled on some shitty game show.

Once my clothes were put away, I quickly popped to the bathroom to put away the strawberry shampoo I'd brought. Then I ran back to my room and put away the last few bits and bobs before my bags were finally empty.

"Done," I smiled as Edward opened his arms up to me.

I literally ran over to him and jumped into his arms, lying at his side, resting my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. There was nothing sexual about this position, we'd been doing this since we started having sleepovers at the ages of 6 and 7. It was just us, it was simply the way we were. We liked each other's company, we liked to touch, we liked the connection that both of us had from being near each other.

Edward and I have always been… complicated. It wasn't in a bad way, but people often think that our friendship is an unhealthy one. It's as if we're obsessed with each other, like we cant spend a single second away from each other without getting withdrawal symptoms. I needed Edward and he needed me. The only focus in my life for the past 17 years has been my friendship with Edward and his has been his friendship with me. We are so inseparable that we often border on the possessive. He is my addiction, I am nothing without Edward. People think we see too much of each other, but I don't think we see enough.

And yet through all these years, we have never dated. Sure, I've dated other guys and he's dated other girls - or whores as I like to call them - but we've never dated each other. It's strange, really, because everyone usually thinks we're a couple. We hold hands, we hug, we kiss - not on the lips, of course - but we don't date. He is my best friend, and we are close enough that neither of us finds that kind of shit weird. I love Edward, and even I have to admit that I'm attracted to him.

Edward is a fucking good-looking guy, probably the best-looking guy I know. He is hot! If our friendship wasn't as close as it is, I wouldn't hesitate for a second in tapping that. But he is my best friend, so a lot of the time, his looks don't even register with me. To me, he is still my Edward, the little kid with the braces and the bronze hair that he hated as a child.

I began to doze off as I lay on him, his warmth and softness relaxing me. A person should not be this comfortable, but Edward and I knew each other so well that I could relax into him without a second thought. His shaking chest is what finally woke me up. He was laughing. I lifted my head to look up at him with my tired eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You fell asleep again, Bellsy-Boo," he laughed, running his hands through my hair. "Only you can have the ability to fall asleep no matter where you are."

"So?" I shrugged, settling down and closing my eyes again. "You're comfy." And the television was showing some real shit!

He ran his hands up and down my arms. "The game show really that boring?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded against his chest. "Very much so."

He lifted the remote, turning the television off. "Well, we could talk if you want. Or maybe I'm too boring, as well." He laughed.

"You aren't boring," I smiled.

"You only want me to fall asleep on," he said, mocking sadness and rejection. "That's all I am to you, a bed!"

I giggled. "And a chauffeur. I don't just let anybody drive my baby."

He looked down at me, a glint of cheekiness in his bright green eyes. He loved our pretend arguments, he always got a kick out of them. So did I. "I might just crash her next time, fuck her up a bit. See how you like that."

I slapped his chest, my eyes widening, turning serious all of a sudden. "Don't talk about my baby like that, Edward." I said, sitting up and glaring down at him. He laughed again, so I turned my back to him and folded my arms, ignoring him.

Nobody jokes about my baby…

He sat up with me and smiled as he shuffled to my side so that I could see him, jutting his bottom lip out and giving me those puppy dog eyes. I hated it when he did that, I could never say no to those eyes. I'd only have to look at them for a split second and bang! I was a goner. Edward Cullen would get his way and I'd be sitting there, wondering how he'd managed it yet again.

But this time, I wasn't having it. He had joked about hurting my truck, and that had crossed the line. I turned further away and stuck my nose up in the air, knowing this would get a reaction out of him.

"Bella," he tried, but I blanked him.

There was a heavy silence for a while until he suddenly grabbed me from behind and pulled me into his lap.

Now, a strange thing always happens when Edward touches me, especially when he touches me so intimately. I don't want it to happen, my body just does it… and it feels amazing. It's like everything just comes together and works. The goose bumps appear, my skin shivers and, no matter how fucked up my day has been, it suddenly fixes itself. It's almost as if the world just seems… right.

This happened right now. The puppy dog eyes didn't work, but his touch did, and all anger over my precious truck was forgotten.

"Talk to me, Bellsy-Boo," he whispered in my ear as he kissed along my cheek. "I didn't mean to bad-mouth the truck. Promise."

I sighed as I instantly forgave him, turning in his lap to look at him. A smirk appeared on my lips. "Fine, you're forgiven, but don't say those things about the truck again. You know I can beat up your ass, Cullen, and if I don't, Emmett will."

"I swear," he said, drawing a cross over his heart. "I will never say anything discriminating about the truck again."

I smiled as I kissed his cheek. "Then you're forgiven, Eddy-Bear."

Nothing could change what we were. We were Edward and Bella, best friends to the very end. If he was happy, I was happy. If he was sad, I was sad. We were so connected it was like were two halves of the same whole. Edward was my everything, and _nothing _on this earth would ever change how much I cared for him.

Nothing…

"But she is a shit color," he quickly added. "I mean, orange?"

"You promised, you bastard!" I yelled as we both got up from the bed and I chased him downstairs, the two of us laughing all the way.

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**By the way, I'm on twitter if anyone is interested. Whether you want any info on my stories, want to hear my daily musings, or are just a general stalker, my twitter feed is open for viewing. I'm rachydoodle03. The link is on my profile :)**


	3. The cold, the dark and the silence

**Howdy!**

**A huge thanks to Twilightluver2127, mixmatched9, chritbella, rosaliehale1994, WeFallForever, trs1 and Dulcinea21bella for their reviews. Also thanks to everyone who has put this story on alert.**

**I'm kind of at a cross-roads with this chapter. I'm happy with the first part, but I'm not completely satisfied with how I've written the second part. It's exactly as I've planned, but I'm not sure I've written it well enough compared to what I have in my head. Still, it's here now, so I hope you all enjoy it. So, get ready for a bit of darkness and violence. Lovely!**

**There's a banner for this story on my profile, as well as my other stories, so check them out if you like. Also, the playlist for this story is coming along nicely, and I'll publish it on my profile soon.**

**As ever, let me know what you think.**

**This chapter is named after "The Cold, The Dark and The Silence" by Sea Wolf. Great band, I'm a big fan.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but there's a bunch of other stuff I don't own either, and nobody complains about that! *sighs***

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Edward Cullen's Point of View

It always happens.

In fact, not a single week can go by without it happening at least once. It's like a weekly tradition or something, like a single moment that we must go through in order to continue on with life. If it doesn't happen, the world will fucking explode or something, so Bella always makes sure that it's done to the best of her ability.

And what is this I'm talking about, you ask?

Well, this is Bella's weekly tradition of finding some magical and impossible way to fall flat on her ass.

Now, I fucking adore that girl, but she is the clumsiest idiot on this planet. No one can fall over more than my Bellsy-Boo does, not even a toddler learning to walk for the first time. It's like she has no hand eye co-ordination and she definitely has no balance. In a good week, she'll only fall over once. In a bad week, she will trip over every step she takes.

This is the second time she's fallen this week, so we count this as a good week.

I often wonder if there is something wrong with her, like a defect at birth, because no human being can possibly fall over as much as she fucking does. Hell, the first time I ever met her she was on the floor crying. Granted, it was because some fucker pushed her off the swings, but she was on the floor all the same.

If falling and clumsiness were an Olympic sport, Bella would completely wipe the board. She'd get every gold medal being given.

But I love her all the same. She wouldn't be who she is without the falling over part. It's what makes my Bella complete, it is a part of her life - Bella falls over and I'm always there to pick her up, her knight in shining armor, as she likes to call me. It's a wonder that she's never broken bones before now. Wouldn't fucking surprise me if she had.

In fact, her falling is how I came up with her nickname: Bellsy-Boo.

She was even worse than this when she was a kid, at least as an adult she balances a little better. But due to her constant falling, she'd always be covered in cuts and marks and bruises or, as she liked to call them, boo-boos. Bella was covered in boo-boos so often that the nickname sort of came up with itself. Bellsy-Boo fitted her perfectly because she was my Bella, and she was covered in boo-boos! Inventive, right?

Okay, so the nickname is pretty pathetic and childish, especially since she doesn't get many bruises anymore, but it's stuck, and I like it, so fuck off!

This time, she had fallen and hurt her ankle on the ground below, twisting it, no doubt. That was her newest thing. If it isn't a cut or a bump, it's a twist.

We had been in our meadow when it happened. Bella was in a playing mood, so we decided to play tag. Yeah, I understand that we aren't 10 years old anymore, but tag is fun, no matter what age you are... even if you're 21! Anyway, I was 'it' and was chasing Bella across the meadow, a normal thing to do during a game of tag, wouldn't you say? Well, for Bella it isn't. Next thing I know, her legs are in the air and she is flat on her face, yelling out and shrieking in pain, shouting how she now hates tag and our meadow.

Typical Bella.

I knew her words weren't true; she fucking loves that meadow. So do I. We had found it one afternoon when she was 11 and I was 12. Home was boring and there was nothing on TV, so I called on Bella and we went wondering round the woods at the back of our houses. Not the brightest idea as the woods were huge. As to be expected, we soon got lost. I started panicking, Bella started crying and all we could see for miles was trees.

I hugged her to me as we hunted for a way out. I was the man there, I was the one who had to save us both. I had to be brave, and that I was.

We must have walked for hours until we finally came to an open space. It wasn't the exit, but it was something even better. Wildflowers as far as the eye could see, tall and green trees creating a barrier, fencing us in, luscious green grass lying on the ground like a fresh carpet. We had found the meadow.

All worry was gone the second we entered it, almost like magic. We played there for hours, laughing and giggling, not a care in the world. That's what the meadow does to you. Once you are there, you don't give a fuck, the meadow is all that matters… Bella matters too, at least in my case she does.

As the sun began to set, we left the meadow and miraculously found our way home again before the moon could rise. I was surprised by how easily we got out, but it must have been because of the meadow. It does some weird shit to you, calms you down and that. After the meadow, we no longer panicked. We got out there no problem at all.

We have been visiting it ever since.

It is our little haven, our little secret, that one place that only Bella and I know about. It allows us to be alone, it allows us all the time in the world to bask in each other's company. It is the most wonderful place in the entire world, and I know Bella feels the same.

So all that talk about hating it was complete bullshit. Bella loves that place more than I do, so there was no fucking way in hell that she hates it.

But she had twisted her ankle all the same, so I needed to help her out. I was currently giving her a piggyback home, laughing about her stupidity all the way.

"You think you'd have grown out of the clumsiness by now, Bells," I chuckled as I held her legs around my waist.

"It's not like I try to be clumsy," she said, resting her chin on my shoulder, her wavy hair lightly brushing against my cheek. "My legs just don't like to listen to my head."

"You're not kidding," I muttered under my breath as I hoisted her further up my back.

"Hey, I heard that," she said, lightly slapping the back of my head. "Besides, I think my ankle might be broken and you can't tease someone who's injured. It's mean, Edward."

"It's not broken," I said incredulously. "You were walking on it perfectly fine until I offered to carry you. I could drop you right here and make you fucking walk home if I wanted."

"No!" she quickly yelled, deafening my ear. I didn't mind. I merely smirked at her. She was too cute sometimes. "I'm sorry. Carry me, please?"

I sighed, plaguing her a little. "Fine. I suppose I can carry you home."

"Or… maybe you could carry me to the hospital, see if Doctor Cullen is working this afternoon," she said dreamily.

"You've twisted it, that's all, Bellsy-Boo. Nothing the old doc can do about it. You just need to rest it."

"Can't we go anyway?" she asked.

I shook my head, amused.

Bella has a bit of a crush on the local doctor, Carlisle Cullen. Due to her clumsy nature, she is the hospital's best customer - I'm surprised they haven't designated her a private room to use when she wishes! - and he is constantly her consultant. Her crush is harmless as he is married with children and far too old for her, but the jealous side of me does tend to rise whenever she mentions him. It is fucking pathetic, I shouldn't feel this way about a silly crush which means nothing, but I do. I am jealous of any kind of affection she shows towards anyone apart from her family. I love her for fuck's sake! Have done for years...

And I plan to tell her this, I have to tell her. If I don't, I'll fucking combust with all the love I hold for her. Jessica Stanley's party next week, that's when I'm going to tell her. I'll get her to slow dance at the end of the night and let everything pour out.

Bella is special to me, ridiculously so. She's the most special person in the whole world. Eveything I do revolves around her and making her happy. I am nothing without my Bella. She makes me smile, she makes me happy, she picks me up when I'm down and makes me feel like life is worth living. I tell you, that girl is an angel in disguise, a goddess in a human's clothing. She's everything to me, and she deserves to know how important she is to me every single day of her life.

So, I need to tell my Bella how I feel about her… and I need her to love me back. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't…

"You only want to go to see Doctor Cullen," I accused.

"Of course I do," she said as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "The guy is Class-A FILF."

"He's what?"

"He's a FILF."

"Want to explain that to me?"

"Like the guy version of a MILF."

I scoffed. "They actually have a word for that?"

"Sure they do," she smiled. "The man is total FILF." We both sniggered at how her words sounded. "I'd totally do him."

"Ew, Bells, that's fucking gross!" I said as I subconsciously held her body closer to me.

"What?"

"He's married!"

"True, but my plan is to marry you, steal your last name, then pretend that I'm married to him!"

"Oh, jeez. Thanks, Bella," I chuckled, acting offended. Only Bella would want to marry me in order to get a totally unrelated man!

She's always been jealous of my last name, something I have teased her about endlessly for years. Doctor Carlisle Cullen and I are totally unrelated, there is no family link between us at all. It is merely coincidence that we have the same surname, and Bellsy-Boo is jealous of that fact. She, on the other hand, shares her surname with the unrelated old man Swan who used to live down the road, the man who used to yell at Bella and I for walking on his lawn, despite the fact that we were walking on the other side of the road. He was a total fucker, but he died three years ago. You kind of feel bad talking about the guy that way considering he's dead!

So, on the surname front, I totally owned that shit!

She giggled. "You're welcome, Eddy-Bear," she replied as she kissed my cheek. "It's a good plan though, huh?"

"Yeah, fucking perfect," I moaned, reaching into my pocket as best as I could in order to reach my cigarettes. With all this talk of FILFs, fake weddings and double surnames, I needed a smoke. I placed the cigarette between my lips and handed Bella the lighter, which was fucking difficult considering I was carrying her.

"You know smoking is bad for you, right?" she asked as she leaned forward and lit my cigarette for me. Bella had to be my arms considering mine were otherwise occupied. I took a long drag and Bella removed it from my lips. I blew out the smoke.

"Sure do, baby. Which is why I refuse to let you smoke." It was true. I'd never let my girl take up such a dirty habit. She deserved to remain pure and perfect.

"Why not?" she whined. "Emmett smokes and you smoke."

"And we are terrible, terrible people for doing that." She brought the cigarette back to my lips and I took a drag.

"Liar. You're the most wonderful person I know, Eddy-Bear, smoker or not. Emmett can be an ass at times, but not you."

I smiled, releasing the smoke. "You're the most wonderful person I know, too, Bellsy-Boo," I said, leaning my head down and kissing the hand connected to the arm she had around my neck. She tasted fucking amazing, like strawberries and Bella.

And my words do ring true. In my eyes, Bella really is the most wonderful person I know, and no other person can ever take her place. She is everything a person should be. She is funny, smart, caring, sweet, sensitive, beautiful. She is the closest thing that I can think of to perfection.

I'm lost without my Bellsy-Boo. It's like I physically hurt when she's not near me, almost as if a part of me is missing. And I suppose that Bella is a part of me. We've never been one without the other since the ages of 3 and 4, and in all those years, two people can really form a connection. Bella isn't just my best friend, she's my entire life, she's my existence, she's the reason I was put on this earth.

I was placed here for her… and I will love her and take care of her until the day I die.

"I can't be that wonderful a person," she argued. "Because of my stupidity, you'll have to go to the library on your own tonight."

I need a new music book in order for me to continue my piano playing over the summer. I'm studying music at Seattle University, so practice is always needed. But I wanted something new, something fresh, something I've never played before, so after dinner, Bella and I were going to drive down to Forks library in order to pick me some books out. Her ankle has obviously put a stop to her going now.

"It's okay, Bells. I'll go on my own," I said as she allowed me another drag of my cigarette. "I won't be long, anyway."

"You sure?" she asked, and I nodded. "Okay. Sorry, Edward." She kissed my cheek again and rested her chin back on my shoulder.

"No problem," I grinned as I finally led her home, feeling very light and happy, all of a sudden.

xXx

The library was practically empty when I got there, but what the fuck do you expect at eight at night? The library isn't exactly the biggest socializing hotspot in town. Even the librarian gave me a what-are-you-doing-here-shouldn't-you-be-out-partying-with-friends sort of look. I had to partly agree with her. And I would be out with my friends… if they hadn't decided to fall flat on their ass and twist their ankle!

Still, I needed to get my books. Then I'd go home and no doubt call on Bella. Tonight was Wednesday - film night. And after the day she'd had, Bella would definitely need some cheering up.

I walked straight to the music section and began immediately sifting through the books on the shelves. There was fucking tones of the things! Guitar, piano, bass, wind instruments, even the Irish penny whistle! I went straight to piano and picked out a few things, handling four books in total.

I walked over to the patronizing librarian so I could check out my books. She was giving me that look again.

_Yes, I do socialize. In fact, I'm about to go to my friend's house now. Happy?_

With my books finally done and ready, I grabbed them and headed straight to the door. Anything to get away from Miss I-like-to-glare! The cold night air hit me the second I left the building, so I wrapped my coat a little closer around my body and clutched my books to my chest. I fished my car keys from my pocket before strolling over to my Volvo.

I couldn't wait to get home. Bella and I always had film nights on a Wednesday. We'd take it in turns each week to pick the film out and, though this week was technically my choice, I was going to let Bella choose instead. Like she said, it's mean to upset people who are ill or hurt, so my Bellsy-Boo could pick the film tonight. I had a funny feeling that it was going to be some shitty chick flick with Zac Efron or Owen Wilson, but I was ready to take them on for her.

What happened next happened so fast that my mind barely had time to register what was happening. It was like one of those moments in movies where everything turns into slow motion so that the audience can actually figure out what's going on and keep up. All I knew was that, one second I was walking to my car, happy as Larry, and the next I was on the floor, my books scattered everywhere, the wind knocked right out of me, my body rolling around in the most intense and terrible pain I'd ever felt.

First, the pain came from hitting my head off the hard ground, but then it came from my neck, the aching strong and mighty, almost like it was being fucking ripped apart. I let out a bloodcurdling scream, the sound echoing throughout the empty car park and falling into the night. Had I tripped? I didn't know. All I knew was that the cold hard floor was below me, and I was in trouble. Tears leaked from my eyes, my chest heaving in heavy breaths as the pain grew strong and deathly.

I had no idea what the fuck was happening, all I could focus on was my neck and the agony it was creating. It felt painful, warm, damp and sticky. I raised my trembling hand slowly to touch my skin, pulling it back, only to reveal blood across my fingers, dripping down onto my coat. My eyes widened as immense panic set in.

That's when I saw them, three dark and hooded figures standing in front of me, gazing down at my shaking and writhing body. One stepped forward and approached me, kneeling in front of me and licking the blood from my fingers. I could not move, I could not speak, I could only watch.

"Mmmm…," said the figure as she licked her lips. It was a woman, her red and curly hair shining in the moonlight. "He's delicious." She cleared my hand of every speck of blood. "James, Laurent, you should try him."

"Well, save some for us, then," I heard a man say. His voice was deep and menacing. He and the third figure approached me and looked down at me… their _red_ eyes glistening as they stared into mine. I gasped… and they attacked, three separate mouths descending on me at once, each one poised and ready to feast. One went to my neck whilst the other two each took a wrist... and the frenzy began.

I screamed and fought for escape as they bit and drank my life-force. I kicked, I lashed out, I tried with every last bit of strength that I had to escape these fucking creatures, but their strength was extraordinary. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. The pressure they put on my aching and trembling body made sure of that.

My throat grew rough and sore as my yelling and screaming got louder and louder, deafening my ears until all I could hear was the blood fighting to pump itself around my body, struggling to keep me alive.

I knew I was dying, I could feel my strength and my will to live leaving me with every drop of blood they took. Soon, I stopped fighting back, I just let them get on with it, I let them kill me. I felt ready to die.

I closed my eyes, seeing _her_ smiling face behind my eyelids, thankful to see her during my last moments.

All I could think of right then was my Bella. I thought about her beautiful and perfect face and listened to her angelic giggle. I imagined her long, flowing hair and her brown eyes looking at mine, telling me that it was all alright, that she was here for me. She told me that I was going to a better place now, a warm place, a gentle place, a place where I'd never feel pain again. I wanted to reach out to her, to touch her and feel her, to hold her in my arms and say one final goodbye to the girl I loved.

But I couldn't. My body didn't care anymore. I could not reach Bella… and I'd never see my best friend again.

My head briefly heard more voices lingering in the background as Bella left my vision, but I couldn't be sure if I had heard them right. Maybe it was more creatures, all here to bite me and kill me too. Maybe three just wasn't enough. My body felt the pressure disappearing and, as I struggled to open my eyes, I could vaguely see the three figures moving away from my poor lifeless form and leaving, falling back into the darkness of night. I didn't know what had happened, but I could tell they had gone.

And then it hit me.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" my voice shrieked as my hands cluched together into tight fists.

A pain so intense and vile suddenly struck me, touching every inch of me that it possible could, making me freely welcome death. A burning sensation erupted from the wound on my neck and spread everywhere, my voice screaming so loud that it eventually fell to silence, my mouth still wide open as empty breaths left me. I had never felt pain like this before, this was worse than the biting. It was as if my whole body was alight and stinging, like every nerve was on fire, and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't escape it. I began to spasm and I knew it was my body's way of going into panic. This was insane, this was worse than death. What the fuck was happening to me?

_Bella… I need you, Bella…_

I suddenly felt hands on my body.

"He's alive, he's moving," came a female voice. "But they injected him with the venom first." I didn't know who the voice belonged to, but I had definitely heard it before.

"Shit," whispered a male voice. Again, it was recognizable, but I couldn't think who it belonged to.

"Quick, we need to get him to the house. He needs somewhere private for the change," came a second male voice. That one I recognized immediately. It was Doctor Cullen. What the fuck was he doing here? Had he and his friends seen the three figures and chased them away? I couldn't think about that now. All I could focus on was the excruciating pain that flooded every inch of me.

I vaguely recalled my limp body being lifted and carried before I blacked out, the aching fire on my skin roaring stronger than ever, taking me over, changing me forever…

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**I'm also on Twitter, if anyone is interested. The link is on my profile.**


	4. Morning after dark

**Hey y'all.**

**A huge thanks to rosaliehale1994, mixmatched9, teambellaedward, brittany86, BellaSand, Dulcinea21bella, trs1, TeamCarlisleWhitlock and WeFallForever for their reviews. Thank you!**

**Right, a few things to remember about the vampires in my story. My newborns aren't as hostile and insane as Mrs. Meyer's are, they are a bit more subdued and controlled. Also my vampires have fangs because they are important to the story… and they are just downright sexy!**

**The playlist for this story is finally done and on my profile! If you want, please do go check it out, and if you don't, then… don't! It's up to you.**

**This chapter is named after "Morning after dark" by Timbaland, SoShy and Nelly Furtado. The song is also on the playlist, funnily enough!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Really, it's true. It belongs to someone called Stephenie Meyer or something. I know, I've never heard of her either! She's supposed to be good, though!**

* * *

Edward Cullen's Point of View

That moment had finally arrived, that moment when you stand there, balancing on the line between life and death, not quite knowing which way you're going to fall.

Part of me wanted to fall on the side of death, to just get it all over with and say goodbye to this sick and sad world. I mean, what is life, anyway? You're born, you work, you die. Doesn't sound like a fucking good life to me. Yet, when you think about it, it's what we all go through. Whether it's school, college, or a job, we spend most of our lives working ourselves to fucking death.

And what do we get for it? The promise of living in a wooden box underground for the rest of eternity whilst the rest of the world carries on, not giving a shit about you anymore.

Yeah, death sounded pretty appealing.

But I knew which side of the line I was falling. I was alive. And how did I know this? Because I wouldn't be able to feel the pain I was feeling if I was dead.

But in the end, that's why I wanted death.

Now, it wasn't that I was dissatisfied with my life, far from it. All things considered, I had a pretty sweet life. I was healthy, handsome, and reasonably wealthy. I had a loving family, a good education and the greatest friend a person could want.

Bella always laughs at me for the whole good looking and wealthy thing. My mom is a teacher at the local elementary school and my dad's a lawyer, so the money does tend to roll in at my house. It was my parents who put the deposit down on the apartment Bella and I share in Seattle. But because of my money and my pretty-boy face, she always says I'm a shoo-in for a regular part on Gossip Girl or some other teen drama where the rich and good looking rule the roost. I always bat her words away. Like fuck I'd become one of those kinds of people! Rich and famous but they have such terrible, terrible lives. Fuck off! Bella loves those shows, but me, not so much. Still, I like Bella's thinking...

So, when I really think about it, my life was fucking awesome.

I didn't want to die because my life sucked. I just wanted to escape the pain, the mighty and unbearable pain.

I was willing to give up _everything_, just to escape it.

I'm not sure how long I lay there in said pain, wriggling and writhing as the burning and stinging spread everywhere, touching every inch of skin, every nerve, every hair, every cell. All I knew was that it was fucking happening, and it was me it was happening to. It had felt like years since it had all started, but it was more than likely days. Time just seemed to have stopped, probably to torture and fuck with me.

_Yeah, Edward's in pain. Let's really make him suffer and stop the clocks!_

If someone's up there, looking down on me… then he must really hate my guts. Fucker!

But whether time had decided to stop or not, the pain simply would not let up, not even for a second. If anything, it became worse. I never could catch a break!

But I didn't think pain like this could possibly exist, I didn't think anyone or anything could allow a person to experience what I was going through. But it's like I was bathing in it and living in it, it's like the pain had molded into my skin and clogged up my pores. There was no escape, no matter how much I tossed and turned and yelled at the top of my fucking lungs. My voice had long since disappeared, the screaming and shouting making damn sure of that. The pain didn't ease up, it stayed just as it was, making my life miserable.

I just wanted to sob; I wanted to cry…

My emotions were too numb of anything but despair to notice the tears that fell down my cheeks as I lay there, burning. I'm not even sure there were tears, but how can any living person not cry at what I was going through? It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be human, so I knew I was crying despite the fact that I could feel nothing.

All my focus was on the burning.

My mind couldn't even conjure up Bella's image, no matter how hard I strained and tried, and that was the moment I truly knew something was up with me. It wasn't being attacked, it wasn't being bitten, it wasn't even the intense and horrific burning, it was my mind's lack of ability to picture Bella. That's when I knew something was seriously wrong.

I've never not been able to see her, not in seventeen years. Bella is my other half and a part of who I am, like the second half to my soul and being. So if I couldn't even picture the other half of myself, how deep in the shit was I?

Something was wrong, something was majorly fucked up.

When this burning stopped, if it ever would, I knew I was not going to be myself when I came out of it. Something bad was happening, something that was going to change my life. I didn't know what it would be, and I didn't know when it would happen, but something was going to change me for eternity. I could feel it.

I didn't want any of this, I didn't want the attack or the biting or the burning. My mind would keep repeating the same lines over and over and over…

_I just want to be me again. I want to go home and curl up on the sofa with my Bellsy-Boo. I want to watch shitty films with her and laugh at her when she cries at the happy ending. I want to see my mom and my dad and sit at my piano whilst I play all afternoon. I just want to go to my meadow and sit there, giving thanks for having such a normal and mundane life._

I wanted the burning to stop, I just wanted it to be fucking over…

And then suddenly, it was.

I wasn't even sure it had happened at first, I was too shocked to register the idea in my mind. But when I stopped and actually thought about it, the intensity of the pain had changed. It didn't lessen by much, but it lessened all the same. I felt it in my foot first, the pain just seemed to die a little, the burning turning into a soft tingling. I was able to wiggle my toes without yelling. They felt… normal.

Then it spread to my ankle before slowly snaking up my leg and spreading to the other. In no time at all, my bottom half was pain free and ready to go, almost as if nothing had happened. I didn't make any major movements, but I could flex the muscles of my knees just fine, no problems at all.

Then the pain disappeared from my stomach all the way up to my chest, disappearing from my hands and arms along the way. I flexed my fingers and straightened my arms, the pain totally gone. It disappeared from my head and face, the burning completely centering on the bite on my neck before the flames of pain died, leaving me lying there, breathing heavily, far too afraid to open my eyes.

What the fuck had just happened?

"I think it's over," came the same female voice I had heard when I was attacked, but this time she sounded different. The sounds in her voice were like bells, crystal clear, like there was nothing blocking it from reaching my ears. I heard every tone, every melody, every note of her voice as it sounded. It was extraordinary.

"His movements seemed to have stopped," came Doctor Cullen's voice, the sound pretty much the same as the female's voice - like nothing I'd ever heard before. It was like music and singing and magic and beauty and the rustling of leaves in the trees.

Wait, no, that's not right…

I listened closer and realized that the sound wasn't coming from his voice after all, it actually was the rustling of trees I could hear. The sound was completely perfect, almost as if I was in the tree itself. But I knew I wasn't. The temperature surrounding me, and softness of what was probably a bed below me, told me I was indoors. That's when I began to panic, wondering what the fuck was going on. I knew I needed to open my eyes, I knew I needed to assess my situation.

I opened them only a little at first, just enough so that I could peak around. I closed my eyes immediately as the bright colors of the room hit my vision. It was just like the sounds I'd heard. Each color was so bright and fantastic that it actually hurt to look. It didn't seem that bright from behind my closed eyelids, but the proof was in the pudding - it fucking hurt to look.

"Edward?" called the good doctor's voice. I felt him touch my hand and I flinched, my body's natural reaction to a sudden intrusion. He quickly let go. "Edward, do you know who I am? Do you recognize my voice?"

"D-Doctor Cullen," I rasped out, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise. It seemed my voice had changed,too, as well as my vision and my hearing. The sound was stunning.

What the fuck is happening to me?

"Very good," he replied, taking my hand again. I didn't flinch this time. "Do you think you can try and open your eyes for me again?"

"It hurts when I do," I stated. "It's too bright."

"It will be at first," he admitted. "But it will get better with time, I promise."

"What's happened to me?" I asked in a shaky voice, my breathing a little heavier.

I have never been the one to panic, Bella always panics enough for the both of us. I'm always cool, calm and collected whilst Bella stresses until her hair falls out. She even panics over my university work. She doesn't even have to fucking do it! I sit there, on the sofa, relaxed and chilled, whilst Bella starts freaking out and going shit crazy because I have two days to hand my portfolio of work in and I haven't even started it.

But now… Now that the stakes were a little higher? Well, I couldn't do anything else _but_ panic. I needed answers. Quick.

"There will be plenty of time to talk later, Edward," Doctor Cullen said. "I just want you to open your eyes first."

"WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO ME?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I didn't want to open my fucking eyes, couldn't he see that? I wanted to know what the fuck was going on because this shit was not normal.

But the yelling was a stupid idea, because it brought me to a new and even more frustrating problem. I sat bolt upright and squeezed my eyes closed even more as I felt a stinging and burning itch at the back of my throat. I clutched at my neck, coughing and spluttering, trying in vain to rid myself of the irritation.

"Edward…" Doctor Cullen started, but I quickly interrupted him.

"My throat… It burns… Why's it burning?… Tell me… Please…"

"Edward, it's okay," I heard a new female say. Her voice wasn't as sweet or as feminine as the previous one, but it still sounded perfect. "You need to remain calm."

"You will get the burning for a while," Doctor Cullen started. "At least until the vampiric way of feeding finally settles in and feels normal to you."

Regardless of the bright and harsh colors, my eyes shot open at his words and my coughing stopped.

With my eyes open, I could truly see where I was. I had been correct in my assumption, I was on a bed in what seemed like a bedroom. It was small and quaint, but it did its job. Five people surrounded me, all of their eyes looking in my direction. Doctor Cullen was the closest, his hand still on mine. Next to him, I recognized his wife, Esme. Then I saw Jasper, Alice and Rosalie, the Cullen children. All of their eyes were a bright and electrifying gold. I knew then why their voices seemed so familiar.

They had attended Forks High School with Bella and I a few years ago. I wouldn't exactly call them my friends, but they were in a few of my classes and we knew them well enough that we would greet each other in the corridors every now and again.

But all this registered in my mind in literally seconds, because the second my eyelids opened, my eyes shot to Doctor Cullen.

I stared at him for a while, the bright colors seeming like the least of my worries now. Sure, I could still see them, the room was illuminated like a fucking fair ground, but I had to know if what he had just said was right… or merely some slip of the tongue.

"What?" I whispered, my eyes wide, my words laced with fear. He had to be bullshitting me, surely.

"Edward, we really should go downstairs and talk," he tried.

"You said vampiric. I heard you."

He sighed, running his free hand through his blond hair. I could see every variation of blond that his hair held. I swallowed. Hard.

"Yes… I did."

"What does that mean?" I asked and he remained silent. They all did. "Doctor Cullen, tell me."

"Edward, you must understand that we did not want this to happen to you," he began. "We thought we had caught them mid-attack, we did not realize that they had already injected the venom until they ran away. They should not be hunting in this area, anyway. But we were too late to stop them once they started feeding from you."

"What does vampiric mean?" I asked, ignoring his waffling.

"It's exactly what it says on the tin," Rosalie said from across the room, folding her arms. "Isn't it obvious?" I raised an eyebrow, Doctor Cullen finally answering my question.

"You're a vampire, Edward."

I was surprised to find that the next sound that filled the room was laughter… but I was even more surprised to realize that I was the one who was laughing. It was fucking stupid, I know, but I just couldn't stop. I almost forgot my burning throat as I doubled over in laughter at the good doctor's words. It was just too funny. I was waiting for Ashton to jump out on me, now, and tell me Bella had Punked me or something. I even found myself searching the room for hidden cameras as I laughed. Everyone else's serious faces told me that I shouldn't be laughing.

I finally calmed down enough to speak. "Bullshit."

"No, Edward," Alice said.

"You're bullshitting me," I chuckled. "You have to be."

"I know that this is a difficult thing to understand," Carlisle said. "And it is completely normal to mask your feelings with laughter and humor."

"I'm not masking anything," I smiled. "Because this is fucking bullshit. Vampires don't exist, I learnt that when I was 8."

"How else do you explain the over-sensitive hearing?" Rosalie asked.

I looked to her, my smile soon fading. "How… how did you know that?"

"We all go through it, Sweetheart," Esme said. "It's one of the characteristics of what we are. It's like the new-found vision and the feeding, it will get easier as you get used to it."

"No," I yelled, probably a little louder than was really necessary. "It isn't a characteristic because vampires don't exist. It's bullshit. It's probably just some overactive flu that's messing with my head and I'll be recovered in a week."

But I felt my argument growing weaker and weaker with each word I spoke. How could Rosalie truly have known about my hearing? This wasn't normal, I'd already accepted that. But knowing my symptoms without looking me over or asking me first? Well, that shit was fucking weird. A part of me feared they were onto something, but the other part, the more rational and sane part, knew all this vampire talk was stupid.

Vampires just don't exist…

But the yelling once again brought me back to my burning throat and my hands clutched at the skin again.

"You must be hungry," Doctor Cullen said. "Alice, do you have the bag of blood?"

Blood?

She appeared at his side and handed him a bag of red and thick liquid.

"I get these from the hospital," he explained as he ripped the bag open with his teeth. "We try not to use them often as we prefer to hunt, but it's always a good idea to keep a few nice bags of A-positive around."

I didn't even hear his words, because as soon as the scent of the blood reached my nose, I leapt. I don't know why I did it, it felt like I was acting purely on instinct, my body moving of its own accord, but as soon as I smelt it, I wanted it. I snatched the bag from his hands, drinking the blood as quickly as my throat would allow, glugging the liquid as fast as possible. I didn't even have time to be repulsed by my own actions; my only priority was to numb the burning.

And it did. It didn't completely clear the burn, but it eased it, making the itch more bearable. I cleared the bag and cast it aside. "More," I begged, needing the burning to die just a little more. Alice handed me another bag and I drank that one a little more slowly.

But the more I drank, the more realization began to dawn on me. I was drinking blood… _Blood! _Who the fuck drinks blood apart from weirdoes and freaks in cults? Okay, so I know vampires drink blood, too, but vampires do not exist. They only exist in stories, books and films. This is real life, not some stupid story. Vampires are make believe, not real.

I cast the bag aside when I was finally finished and I dropped my head into my hands, my chest heaving in fearful breaths. What was I becoming?

"Why did I just do that?" I whispered.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Like I said, it's the vampiric way you have to live now," Doctor Cullen explained. "Your instincts are coming forward."

I shook my head and let out a loud cry. I wasn't a vampire… I wasn't.

xXx

I remained at the Cullen's house for at least a week after that first morning, locking myself in that small bedroom with only bags of blood and my own thoughts for company. Doctor Cullen, Alice, and Jasper kept me company when they could, but I never wanted them there. All I wanted was myself. I needed to be alone.

I needed to come to terms with what I was becoming.

My cell phone often rang, providing another form of company, but I never answered it. How could I? I'd been gone an entire week without a single word, but I couldn't tell anyone where I was or what was wrong with me, because I could barely fucking understand it myself. How do I explain to my parents and Bella that I'm shacked up in the town's leading-doctor's house, filling up on blood and seeing bright colors? Now, that doesn't exactly make much sense, does it?

Like I said, I barely understand this myself.

But I knew they were worried. How could they not be? Wouldn't you be worried if your son goes missing for a week? Wouldn't it freak you out if your best friend just disappears without a word? My mom and dad had left me seventy-two missed calls, twenty-four voice mails, and eighty-three text messages in total and I had to wonder if they'd filed a missing persons claim with all the worry they had. But Bella won them out in the end. A hundred and six missed calls, forty-eight voice mails and ninety-five text messages. I dreaded to think about what their phone bills would be.

I listened to some of the voice mails she'd sent me as I sat there drinking the blood, and I found it calmed me somewhat. I just needed to hear her voice, I needed to have some part of her with me, and listening to her words kept me sane and safe.

This was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing my Bellsy-Boo. The longest before this was when she was 10 and I was 11. Charlie and Renee had sent Bella and Emmett to summer-camp whilst my parents opted to keep me at home. Bella's sister, Bree, was only a few weeks old at the time, so she didn't exactly provide me with much company! Bellsy-Boo lasted 4 days without me before she rang home, crying down the phone, begging her dad to take her home. He did, and I got my Bella back for the entire summer.

A week without her now was fucking killing me.

But her most recent voicemail was the one that broke me, it was the one that made me realize that, no matter how bad I was feeling or how fucked up I was, I needed to go home. I couldn't stay here anymore in hiding whilst I came to terms with what was happening to me. Whether I was a so-called vampire or not, my Bella needed me and I had to go to her.

I was lying on my bed, willing sleep to come at the time. I'd been trying to sleep all week, but I just… couldn't. I'd been wide-awake for a whole fucking week. I didn't even feel tired. I wasn't surprised by this, it was just another weird symptom to add to the ever-growing list of weird-things-Edward-Cullen-can-now-seem-to-do. On top of improved hearing, improved vision, speed, strength and blood consumption, lack of sleep seemed like a breeze. Still, my phone rang out before going to voice mail.

I waited a good hour before listening to it, but when I did, it broke my heart.

Her voice was so broken and dead that it physically hurt to listen to it. You could hear her tears and sense her fear as she begged me to call her and come home. She pleaded with me to get in touch before proceeding to tell me how much she missed me and loved me. I couldn't even hear the end of it, I cut the line before the message had even finished.

She needed me, my Bellsy-Boo needed her Eddy-Bear. I'd never let her down before and I fucking refused to start now. Vampires be damned. I had to go to Bella. So I did. I didn't have a lot to gather, just my jacket and a bag of blood that I slipped into my jacket pocket. I zipped up my coat and swung open the bedroom door, determination set on my face. I put my speed to good use and bolted down the stairs… only to find Doctor Cullen and Jasper in my way.

"Move," I said, trying to push past them. They blocked me.

"No," Jasper stated.

"Edward, you can't go, not yet," Doctor Cullen explained. "You're a newborn, you need our help."

"I'm not a fucking newborn and I'm not a fucking vampire," I seethed, trying to push past them again. This time I succeeded. A small part of me wondered if they had simply let me go. "All I know is that my best friend needs me, so I'm going to her." I ran out of the house.

"Edward…!" Doctor Cullen yelled after me, but I was too far gone into the night to even hear him or care…

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	5. Come on home

**Hello!**

**A huge thanks to brittany86, Dulcinea21bella, Cina's, mixmatched9, rosaliehale1994, trs1, teamedwardtwilightfan, sujari6, BellaCullenObsessed, WeFallForever and Robsten345 for their reviews. Thank you!**

**Right, back to Bella for this chapter. I'm not a hundred percent happy with this chapter, but when am I ever! I've re-written it 3 times! But this is the final outcome and I'm sticking with it. I just hope you all like it. As ever, let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

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**This chapter is named after "Come on home" by Franz Ferdinand. A brilliant band. I really recommend them.**

**Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? I don't own Twilight. Shocking!**

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Bella Swan's Point of View

I was getting a mad sense of déjà vu as I picked up my cell phone, scrolled down my contacts list and pressed call when I landed on the name I wanted. It was at least the hundredth time I'd done it just this week alone, and I was getting pretty used to the routine.

The usual feelings of excitement and hope filled me as my phone rang out, those feelings quickly shattering into misery and disappointment as the same automated message reached my ears yet again. I knew this message off by heart now, I could mime to it like some geek-ass kid does to the lines of his favorite movie, and I'd be able to match the message word for word. I let out a breath whilst my phone spoke.

"_Hey, it's Edward. I can't come to the phone right now, and to be honest, you leaving me a voice mail is pretty stupid because I never listen to them anyway. Probably best to leave me a text message. Oh, here comes the beep!"_

I closed my eyes and clutched my phone tightly to my ear as I left what felt like the millionth message of the week.

"Hi, Edward… it's Bella. I'm, uh, still waiting on your call. I did what you said, I left you a text… in fact I've left you like a hundred, but you still haven't replied…" My eyes began to sting as tears trapped themselves behind my closed lids. "Everyone's really worried. Your mom, your dad, Emmett… me. Even Charlie's doing everything he can at the station to help." I opened my eyes, my body no longer able to hold the tears in. They cascaded down my cheeks, creating a watery path across my skin, the soft moonlight outside causing the wetness to shimmer. "We miss you… so, so much. Just please call. Please. I love you, Eddy-Bear. Just let me know where you are…"

I hung up the phone quickly before the sobs were able to escape my lips. I slipped off my shoes and curled myself into a ball on my bed as my cries were let loose. I shook, I sobbed, I blubbered like a baby.

But none of it brought my Eddy-Bear back home.

It had been an entire fucking week now, and Edward was nowhere to be found. We had called him, searched for him, reported him missing and had the whole of the Forks Police Department out fucking looking for him… but we couldn't find him. He really was nowhere to be found, he'd gone without a trace, it was like he had vanished from the face of the planet without a single word.

My chest heaved as heavy sobs left my body, my bloodshot eyes closing when the tears became too much. I wrapped my arms around my body, hiding my face in my pillow as I felt my world close around me, my head pounding.

If I thought the phone calls were pretty routine, then the hours upon hours of crying I did were routine too. I didn't think a person could possibly hold that many tears, but I'd proven that they did. I hadn't stopped, not since that evening when he failed to come home… not since that evening when my life felt like it had ended.

I just don't know what had happened. He had phoned me before he went into library to see if I was okay after I'd twisted my ankle. He sounded fine, and from the tone of his voice and the words he spoke, he sounded as if he was coming home soon. Yet when I phoned him later that night to see if he had his books, his phone just rang out.

Never in seventeen years of knowing him has Edward left me hanging on a phone call. Not once. He usually picks up on the first ring, especially if he knows it's me calling.

So, with no response from his cell phone, I called his house, only to be met with a slightly panicked Elizabeth Cullen. Turned out his parents had been getting the same treatment as I had. There was no Edward. So I turned to my dad, explaining the story and how no one could find my best friend.

Guess it sucks that you have to wait forty-eight fucking hours before you can report a person missing, huh? The justice system sucks! But I hoped it wouldn't come to that. That was the last thing I wanted or needed. I hoped that Edward would turn up the next morning, hung over or something. Anything to ease my worry.

He didn't.

And he didn't return the next day, either. Or the next, or the next.

His parents filed the report. The police went out looking for Edward. They came up empty. He was nowhere to be found.

The crying started from when that first phone call had rung out and, like I said, it hadn't fucking stopped since.

I hadn't slept, I hadn't been out except to look for him, and I'd done nothing but keep to myself for the entire week. But what else do you do when you realize your best friend has gone missing? I fucking flat-out refused to believe the worst. That kind of thing only happens on TV and in the big cities. We lived in dreary little Forks, so I knew he was alive… but that didn't stop the panic or the terrible scenarios that fluttered through my head.

I'd done everything in my power to find him. I'd phoned around, I'd gone out searching, I'd even made those fucking posters you make when your dog runs away, complete was a hundred dollar reward and a picture of Edward's grinning face. But it was all pointless, I still didn't know where he was.

I just wanted him back. I wanted him here with me, curled up watching movies like we were supposed to be doing. I wanted to go driving in his Volvo, me yelling at him for speeding whilst he just laughed. I wanted to visit our meadow and play hide and seek like we used to.

I wanted my Eddy-Bear to come home.

There was a gentle knock at my door before I heard it open, my visitor gently closing it behind them. I felt my bed dip behind me.

"I brought you some soup, honey," came my mother's calming voice. "It's chicken, your favorite."

"I don't want it," I mumbled, my voice muffled by my pillows.

"Bella," she said as I heard her place the tray on my bedside table. I felt her hand rest on my back. "You have to eat something; you haven't eaten properly all week."

"I don't want food, I just want Edward," I whimpered, sniffing my nose.

"I know you do, baby girl," she soothed, uncurling me from my ball and bringing me to her. I rested my body against hers, hiding my face in her neck as she wrapped her arms around me and gently rocked me. "And I also know that if he were here, Edward wouldn't want you to act this way. You know he'd want you to be brave and keep your strength up."

"I suppose," I admitted. "But… it just hurts so much, mom. I don't even know where he is or if I'll ever see him again. I can't possibly think about food whilst my best friend is missing."

"Of course you'll see him again. You two can never be away from each other for too long. You'd both go crazy."

"But what if I don't see him again?"

She pulled me away from her neck and cupped my face in her hands, wiping away the hair from my forehead and the tears from my eyes. "Your father is doing everything in his power to bring him home, Bella, we all are. Edward and Elizabeth are constantly in search of their son and I know you are doing everything you can. We will find him, sweetie. I promise." She gave me one of those mom smiles. You know the ones that tell you everything will be okay, even though you know it won't?

I nodded and attempted a smile back. "Thanks, mom."

She leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. "You're welcome. Now, you going to eat that soup for me?"

xXx

The sharpness of the sunlight outside hit my eyes as they fluttered open the next day, my mind quickly realizing that it was morning. I had quickly fallen asleep after my soup last night, the tears and the stress quickly sending me off to dreamland. It was just a shame that the nightmares visited me instead. Edward's disappearance had really taken its toll on my sleep patterns, the nightmares coming thick and fast, waking me up and covering me in a cold sweat. They were all the same - Edward either gone or out of reach. They were getting worse and worse. I was getting up earlier each day. It was the summer break. I should not be up before eleven!

I looked over at my bedside clock once I was able to see properly. It was 7am. I sat up, stretched and rubbed my eyes as I cast a glance around my room. Still the same as yesterday - Edward free.

I looked down at myself, noticing I'd slept in my clothes last night. Guess the soup and lack of sleep had really taken it out of me. With a sigh and what felt like a lot of effort, I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom for a shower. Emmett was still snoring his head off, dad was at work doing the morning shift, and I knew mom and Bree would not be up for a while yet, so I pretty much had the bathroom to myself. I turned the shower on and quickly undressed before entering the hot water. I let out a breath as the water hit my back, relieving just a little of the tension I'd been feeling this week.

I didn't take too long in the bathroom, so once my hair was washed and my skin was clean, I headed back to my room, wrapped tightly in a towel. As soon as I was dressed in fresh clothes, I began to blow-dry my hair, formulating a plan in my head for today's search. I was going to try the town again today. I was going to ask around and talk to anyone might have seen Edward the night he vanished, or find anyone who was willing to help.

I was bordering on desperation now, but I was willing to try anything to bring him back.

The sunshine soon disappeared and I knew it was going to be a cloudy day today. It would probably rain later too, but I had my trusty truck. My baby had never let me down in the bad weather before, so I knew she'd help me find Eddy-Bear today. She knew I was on a mission, so the old girl would have to cover quite a few miles today. With my hair finally dry, I turned the hair dryer off and bent down to unplug it and wrap up the cord. I looked out my bedroom window.

That's when I spotted it. My body froze and I gulped, blinking a few times to see whether my eyes were playing tricks on me. Maybe I was delusional and the week of stress had completely fucked my head up. But no, it was still there... I was still seeing it. I saw a quick flash of bronze in the Cullen's living room, the sight vanishing almost immediately. I bolted to my window and opened it to get a better look, leaning out and straining my eyes to get a good view.

I gasped as my legs trembled beneath me. I swallowed. Hard.

Oh god…

It couldn't be… No, it just couldn't… How had he… Was it really… I couldn't be sure, but I had seen the flash of his hair, I had seen the scurry of movement.

As quickly as my legs would allow, I bolted down the stairs and threw the front door open, not caring if I woke everybody up. I hadn't bothered with shoes, but the small rocks on our gravel drive didn't even phase me. All I could focus on was that bronze color coming from next door.

It couldn't be him, I'd have seen him coming, I'd have _sensed _his presence!

Edward and I have always had this weird connection. It's like we know what the other is thinking before they've even said it. We feel each other's pain; we know how the other ticks. I've always believed that the two of us are like one person, one soul, almost like twins! So I'd know if he'd come home.

But I knew what I had seen, and I had to know the truth.

I thumped on the Cullen's front door with tight fists when I reached it, my heart pounding heavily in my already tight chest. There were already tears in my eyes, I could feel them building, fighting to be let loose. Whether they were tears of joy or sadness, I simply didn't know.

"Let me in, please!" I begged as I banged on the door. I just needed to fucking know. Edward-Senior answered the door. He'd obviously been crying, his eyes red and swollen… but the joyful smile on his face as he greeted me told me everything.

"Oh god," I whispered as my hand flew to my mouth to stop my cries. "Where is he?"

"He's gone upstairs to change," Edward's father told me. "He's-"

But I didn't even reply to his answer or let him finish; I didn't have time. From the moment Edward's location was revealed, I ran to him, moving as quickly as I could. Excitement and adrenaline pumped through my veins as I fought my way to my best friend, needing to see him, needing to touch him. I had no idea what I'd do when I saw him, too many ideas flickering through my mind.

I wanted to kill him… I wanted to hug him… I wanted to scream at him… I wanted to hold him…

I didn't even knock on his door or ask his permission to enter his room when I reached it. He could be half-naked for all I knew, but I didn't care. I just wanted to see him.

I swung his door open, just as he was pulling a t-shirt over his head, his glorious bronze locks ruffled and messed up. He looked at me as he heard my entrance, and neither of us said anything to the other. We just stared in absolute silence, my hands trembling as I struggled to breathe.

He looked just as he did when he had left, but also slightly changed. It wasn't an obvious change, but if you really looked, it was very noticeable. His skin seemed a little paler, and I wondered if his location and not being at home had affected his health. Who knew where he had been this past week. His face seemed more prominent too, more defined and handsome, and I had to wonder if that was due to weight loss and not being able to find sufficient food whilst he was gone. His body was considerably still and stiff, just like a statue. I even had to look for whether he was breathing or not. His eyes seemed darker too, and I found, funnily enough, that I had no theory for that. But I didn't dwell on it, I didn't dwell on any of it. All I could think about was the fact that my best friend was home.

Tears fell silently down my cheeks as we stared, my emotions finally getting the better of me. My heart twisted and my stomach jumped when he finally produced my favorite crooked grin.

"Hi, Bellsy-Boo," he finally said, the silence still hanging heavy.

"You fucking idiot," I cried before running to him and leaping into his open arms.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck as I held him as tight as I possibly could. He buried his face in my neck as he hugged me, my tears dripping into his hair, turning it from bronze to a deep brown. I couldn't stop sobbing as he carried me to his bed and sat down, my body still wrapped around him, refusing to let go. I kissed the top of his head and along his cheeks, needing to know if he was real or not. He'd been gone for an entire week; I had to know if the man I was holding was my Edward.

"Is it you? Please tell me it's you."

I heard him chuckle. "Course it is, Bellsy-Boo. It's me."

"Oh god," I cried, joy and happiness flooding my body and setting me alight. I was full blown sobbing now, but Edward held me and comforted me the entire time. He rubbed his hands up and down my back and whispered gentle words into my ears. "I missed you, Eddy-Bear," I whimpered as I released my legs from his waist so that I could straddle him.

"I know. I'm sorry," he replied, pulling back and wiping the hair from my face, gently kissing my forehead. "I'm so fucking sorry."

I held his face in my hands, his cheeks feeling cold, and looked deeply into his eyes. They were… red.

"Your skin," I said as my eyebrows furrowed and my tears slowed. "Edward, you're freezing."

He lowered his eyes, his body tensing up. He didn't seem to be breathing. "I didn't have a coat with me this week."

I shrugged off the cardigan I was wearing and, despite the fact it was far too small for him, I draped it over it shoulders and rubbed my hands up and down his arms in an attempt to warm him up.

"My poor Eddy-Bear. Better?" I asked.

"Much... Thanks, Bellsy-Boo." He seemed timid and tense.

"Just breathe, Edward," I said. "You're home now, it's okay. Though, I'm ready to rip you're fucking head off. Where the hell have you been?"

I braced myself for the worst, but his answer was the last thing I expected. I was waiting to hear that he had been kidnapped by pirates or taken by drug traffickers. I was waiting to hear that he had been mugged and left for dead, or that he had taken a wrong turn and had ended up in Canada. What I didn't expect was the truth.

"I've… uh, been in Seattle, taking care of some last minute business at the university ready for our nexst semester. I've been staying in the apartment."

I just looked at him with blank eyes. My mouth opened a few times, the words just on the tip of my tongue, but it quickly closed again when I realized I had no words to say. He was in… Seattle. My previous happiness quickly turned into anger.

"What the fuck, Edward?" I yelled, getting up off his lap. Now I was pissed. "We've all been here, worrying like hell, and you've been in fucking Seattle? You bastard!"

"Bella, please," he started, standing up and approaching me.

"No!" I screamed. "Don't 'Bella please' me! Do you not check your phone? We've been ringing you, messaging you, Charlie even had the whole fucking police force out looking for you. And you were in Seattle the whole time? I'm gonna kill you." I stomped over to him.

The fucking bastard had been in Seattle the whole time! My head was spinning, my thoughts buzzing and making no sense. How could he have been so close to us and not even said a word, not even a phone call to tell us he was going in the first place? Was he fucking kidding me? How could he have done all that without telling _me_?

Edward and I tell each other everything. There aren't any secrets between us, it's the way we've always been. But to ignore me for an entire week and fuck off to Seattle was a joke.

I approached him, beating my fists angrily on his chest, letting at least some of my rage out. I was going to beat the shit out of him!

I stopped my motions almost immediately as a light pain shot through my hands. I pulled them back like I'd been electrocuted, quickly finding that my knuckles were red raw and cold. Edward's chest was like marble or stone. It was rock hard. I slowly lifted my eyes to his, finding his own staring back at me. They were still red, but they were also intense and strong, like they were hiding something… something I wouldn't want to know. I didn't like his look. I didn't like it at all.

He still didn't seem to be breathing.

Testing the waters a little more, I spread my hand out flat on his chest, pushing the skin. It didn't budge. I expected it to be soft and warm, but it was cold and hard. I dropped my hand to my side, looking back up at him expectantly. Something wasn't right.

"I did a lot of working out in Seattle. Joined a gym and everything," he shrugged, answering my un-asked question. Like I said, we always knew exactly what the other was thinking.

A gym? Well, that was a blatant lie, mainly because Edward was the laziest person I knew. It would take a miracle to get him to join a gym. Hell, it took a miracle to get him to walk around the block! But I knew his words couldn't be true because I knew that wasn't what a well-toned and worked-out chest felt like. Emmett's friend, Jacob, worked out all the time, but his abs weren't hard like Edward's were. There was still a little give left in the skin. But Edward was like marble.

"And your eyes?" I quickly added. "What's up with them?" I figured I may as well get everything in whilst I was at it.

"Contacts," he said. "A new shop has opened up near the city. They looked like fun. Cool, huh?"

"I suppose," I said, not believing a word he said.

I didn't get it. Why was he lying to me? Why was he keeping everything so secret? I just wished he'd tell me what had happened, because from the looks of it, something certainly had.

He wasn't himself, far from it. And it wasn't just the coldness, the hardness, the breathing, or the eyes. It was Edward himself. He was too tense, too quiet. He had barely cracked a smile or said a joke since I'd entered the room. He hadn't teased me once and he was far too distant for my liking. Something was seriously fucked up, but I just didn't know what.

I decided to dig for answers.

"Why didn't you phone us while you were in Seattle?"

He sighed and sat back on his bed. He opened his arms up for me and my legs moved towards him by themselves. I couldn't help it. I hadn't seen him for a week and, no matter how pissed off I was, I needed to be near him. I sat down on his lap and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I tried," he whispered in my ear before burying his face in my hair. I shivered, and I had to wonder if it was from his breath on my skin or his icy cold temperature. "But I couldn't get a signal. Then my phone battery died."

"You could have charged it at the apartment," I suggested.

"I would have, but I brought the fucking charger back home to Forks with me, didn't I?"

I sighed and snuggled into his chest. "You still could have told me you were going in the first place. Do you realize how scared and worried I've been this week?"

"I know, Bellsy-Boo," he said, kissing the top of my head. "And I am so, so sorry for that. I didn't mean to make you worry."

"Well you did," I said, hiding my face in his neck. At least one thing hadn't changed. He still smelt of my Edward.

He pulled my face from his neck and pressed his forehead to mine, holding me tightly around my waist. "Forgive me?"

And I did, because I always do. Edward and I have been friends long enough to not let anything get between us. Sure, we have fights, what friends don't, but we care enough about each other to not let them dampen our friendship. Our relationship and our connection is much stronger and so much more important than some fight or some hurt feelings.

"Don't I always?" I giggled.

"Thanks, Bella," he said as he lay back on his bed, pulling me with him and cuddling me to his chest.

"Just don't do it again, okay?"

He chuckled. "I promise," he smiled.

And just like that, the fight was over. We were best friends again, we were Edward and Bella, and his sudden disappearance was all but forgotten. I didn't want to fight with him. I'd only just got him back, I couldn't lose him again so soon. He'd been gone an entire week and I didn't want our reunion to be screaming and shouting. I wanted it to be hugging and laughing. So that's what I made it. I'd got my wish, I'd got him back, so why was there any real need to fight with him?

But even though the fight was over, the war had only just begun. Even though I could forget about his disappearance, I couldn't forget about the fact that he had changed. Something was up. You don't go away for a week and come back like a completely different person. And he_ was_ a different person. His skin was icy cold, hard, and pale. His face was much more defined and handsome. He didn't seem to breathe. His body was tense. His eyes were fucking red!

I couldn't not pick up on the differences. I'd known him for seventeen years, so I knew when his eyes were no longer green. But why the big cover up? What was the big secret? Why so distant and quiet?

Something major had happened during the week he'd been gone. My best friend wasn't telling me something, and there was no way in hell that I was going to rest until I discovered what that something was…

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**I'm also on Twitter if you're interested. I'm rachydoodle03. The link is on my profile :)**


	6. The hunger

**Hello all!**

**A huge thanks to mixmatched9, Dulcinea21bella, trs1, teambellaedward, Cina's, pianogirl05, rosaliehale1994, Twilightluver2127, WeFallForever, BellaSand, and janjan2009 for their reviews. Thank you!**

**For anyone who's interested, I now pictease this story with TwiSherry on twitter, so if any of you want to go check that out, please do. I really try to find pictures that really reflect what is going to be happening during each chapter without giving too much away. Like I said, go check it out of you're interested.**

**Also, as mentioned in a previous AN, a quick reminder that my vampires are slightly different to SM's. My newborns aren't as insane and hostile as hers are, and my vampires have fangs because it's part to the story... and they are just downright sexy!**

**The play list and banner for this story are up on my profile and I'm on Twitter if anyone is interested. I'm rachydoodle03.**

**On with it…**

**This chapter is named after "The Hunger" by The Distillers. Great song. We covered it in my band back in the day. Good times, good times…**

**Disclaimer: Look at the author's name at the top of this page. Now, what does it say? Does it say Stephenie Meyer? No, it doesn't, so I clearly don't own it, do I?**

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Edward Cullen's Point of View

Oh, she's good.

She's very, very good.

That girl could put the fucking FBI to shame with a quick eye like that.

Nothing ever got past Bellsy-Boo, did it? Not least of all my mass transformation from small town, boring, piano-playing, geek-ass boy, to blood drinking, sparkling, red eyed… what ever the hell I was!

She was onto me from the second she burst through my door - which I thought I had locked, by the way, a guy likes to change his clothes in private - never letting up with the questions, never letting up with the accusations and concerns that burst from her mouth like a powerful waterfall, pummeling me to the ground with how fast they spouted from her mouth. I knew she was concerned, but shit, Bella! Thank God I had a quick mind on me. Some of those damn questions were fucking hard to answer.

How the bloody hell was I supposed to answer her about my red eyes? By saying I was wearing contacts, that's how. Pathetic and completely unbelievable, I know, but I was a guy caving under pressure! I wasn't going to blab that I'd rather drink blood than a coke, was I? I had to think fast on my feet and it was the best I could come up with.

Sure, I knew this was Bella, and I have always told her everything - the two of us never share secrets - but this kinda went beyond the whole sacred bond of secrecy and truthfulness between friends. Fuck knows if I knew what was happening to me, so I wasn't about to bring Bella into my car-crash of a life and mess it all up for her too. Until I knew for definite what was wrong with me, I had to keep Bellsy-Boo in the dark… no matter how difficult that was for me. And it really was.

I loved that girl, keeping something so ridiculously big from her was hard.

Still, she'd believed me on the whole contacts front, or at least appeared to, and she seemed to let it drop, thank fuck. I'd only just gotten Bella, my family, and some normalcy of life back, I didn't want to fuck it all up by admitting that I'd been attacked and had spent the week with a bunch of crazy-ass people who believed they were vampires!

No, thank you!

So we carried on with life as normal… well, as normal as things got, and this seemed good enough for me. But she was always there, watching with a curious eye, making sure I didn't mess up and give away the truth.

Like I said, Bella was like a pro at this shit. Guess having a police chief for a father helps.

It was getting even harder to cover stuff up, too. Like dinner, for example. Food repulsed me, that shit was disgusting! So when mom baked her usual Friday night meatloaf, I wanted to gag… and not just because my mother's cooking is awful anyway! The bottom line was I wanted blood. I wanted warm, dripping, oozing blood, A-Positive if I could get it. It was a personal favorite. Not that I didn't like any other type of blood, I wasn't picky. It's just, to me, it seemed to taste better, like it was a better and more expensive brand.

Which is why I thanked fuck Bella was O-Negative.

The blood lust was becoming… uncomfortable, like when you haven't had a cigarette for days and the craving just keeps niggling away at you. I'd tried to distract myself so many times. I'd gone driving, hung with Bella, gone to the meadow, gone to town, gone for a run, anything to distract my mind from the constant need to drink. And it worked… for most of the time. The days were fine as I had enough to do and enough people around me to take my mind of it.

But then night came. Bella would go home to sleep, my parents would go to sleep, the whole fucking world would just close down and go to sleep, and I'd sit in my room, on my bed, my eyes wondering off into the darkness and thoughts of the delicious red liquid took over my mind.

Oh, how I wanted it, how I craved it, how I fucking needed it. But I couldn't. I had no idea how. At the Cullen's house, I'd just have a bag of the stuff brought to me, but now I was on my own, I had to figure this shit out for myself.

I always came up blank.

I couldn't kill, I simply couldn't. I already felt myself a monster for wanting to drink blood in the first place, killing for it would send me totally insane. So, what did I do? I just put up with the craving. I put up with itching burn in my throat. I cut off my breathing every fucking time Bella would blush or run and exert herself, the girl not knowing that she was always finding ways for her blood to pump quickly through her body to torture me.

She didn't mean to do it. Hell, she didn't even _know _she was, but it still hurt, it still ached, the blood still called to me, just like everyone else's did.

No matter how much I didn't want to admit it, this vampire theory was getting more and more plausible every single day.

But I lived on, denying it to the max, refusing to believe that vampires existed.

Fuck. That!

Vampires exist only in books, stories and really cheesy 1930s movies. That was it. This is real life, this is Forks. Nothing happens here, not least its residents being turned into these creatures…

I was not a vampire, and I was determined to live a normal life whilst I figured out what I was… even if that meant having to sit through two hours of Bella searching through her wardrobe.

"What do you think of this one?" she asked as she lifted what felt the hundredth dress up in front of her body, gazing it carefully in her full length mirror. I was dressed and ready half an hour ago.

"It's great, Bells," I said, not looking, totally disinterested as I flicked through a comic book I'd stolen from Emmett's room whilst he wasn't looking.

I heard her let out an annoyed sigh and caught her turning to face me from the corner of my eye. Next thing I knew, she had snatched the comic from my hands and was looking at me with angry eyes. I had no choice but to look at her now.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," she began as she put her hands on her hips. She seemed stern. Nobody messes with Bella when she's stern, not unless you want to look all kinds of fucked up. The girl has a mean left hook. "Could you at least _pretend_ to show some interest?"

"Fine," I said, letting out a breath. "The dress looks amazing. The blue goes great with your skin color; it will hug your body in all the right places and will no doubt give you a fan-fucking-tastic cleavage. Every guy in the room is going to be looking you up and down tonight. Is that what you want to hear?"

She smiled then, and turned back to the mirror. "Exactly what I wanted to hear. Thanks, Eddy-Bear."

I ran a hand through my hair. This girl was impossible sometimes.

Tonight was the arrival of Jessica Stanley's long awaited 21st birthday party, a night where I would be surrounded by drunken people either pressing for a fight, passing out, or pressing to get into each other's bed. Great! I could hardly wait for the fun to begin… not!

I was dreading it in every sense of the word.

This party was supposed to be special, it was the time I had chosen to finally admit my feelings to Bellsy-Boo. I was going to tell her that I loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But no, that couldn't happen now, could it? Those three bastards made sure it couldn't happen. So instead of telling her the truth and perhaps making something more of our friendship, I had to keep my feelings bottled up to protect her from myself and what I now was.

Thank you very much!

But regardless of how pissed off I was, I'd rather see her protected than become a victim to whatever had taken over me. Bella's safety was everything, and I'd rather die than be the one to fuck everything up.

So instead of tonight being the fairytale declaration of love that I had planned for a month, it would just be me escorting Bella, Emmett and Jacob to a party where I couldn't drink, couldn't have fun, and couldn't admit to my girl that she was my entire world.

Life. Fucking. Sucks!

Bella's door suddenly burst open, breaking me from my rather pessimistic musings.

"Hello, dude and dudette," came Emmett's booming voice, a big cheery grin on his lips. "We getting this party going, or what?"

"Are you kidding?" asked Bella. "I still have to get dressed and apply my make up. No, there is no way in hell that we are going yet."

"What? But I'm bored," he whined, bouncing on the soles of his feet. He was acting like a sulking child. "Hurry up, Bella."

"We'll go when I'm ready, Emmett. Have a little patience for once in your life, will you? Anyway, you're only invited to this party because Jessica thinks you're hot. So stop whining."

Emmett's tone changed. "Oh, does she?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "And is Miss Stanley single?"

Trust Emmett!

"She's been going out with Mike Newton for the past six months, so no, she's not single."

"But she thinks I'm hot?" he questioned.

"No funny business, Emmett!" Bella yelled, looking him in the eye. "Now, both of you, get out. I need to prettify myself."

And with that, the two of us left Bella's room, meeting Jacob downstairs, and sat in the living room to wait.

When Bella was finally made up and dressed - which took a whole fucking hour, by the way - the four of us piled into my Volvo and headed over to the party. Bella looked amazing, but when didn't she? The girl was stunning a hundred percent of the time.

Her deep blue dress was strapless and ended just above her knees, leaving her long and shapely legs on perfect view. Her hair hung in soft waves down her back, giving her a look of pure innocence, and her make up was light and natural. Bellsy-Boo never needed make-up in my opinion, she was beautiful as she was. The heels on her feet were a bad idea as she was the clumsiest idiot on this earth, but I didn't say anything. Her excitement was too good to ruin.

We pulled up to the club where the party was being held after twenty minutes. Emmett and Jake got out whilst Bella and I parked the car, walking down to the club hand in hand once we had found a space. We were quickly granted entry before the booming music and bright lights of the club inside greeted us.

Oh, this is going to be fun! Can you sense the sarcasm?

I needed a cigarette!

We quickly got drinks, me buying a coke purely for appearances, of course. The stuff smelt disgusting. Can't believe I ever used to drink it! It was like poison in a glass to me. Bella, wanting to be sophisticated for some stupid reason, opted for a glass of white wine. Yup, the heels were definitely going to be a problem after a few glasses of that!

After saying the usual greetings and well wishes to Jessica upon her birthday, we headed into the crowd in search of Emmett and Jacob. We quickly found them seated at a table in the corner. The view of them was quite funny really. Jacob was just smiling, totally un-phased by his surroundings, tapping his fingers on the table in time with the music, whilst Emmett was practically drooling at every single good-looking girl that walked past him. He was like one of those cartoon dogs whose eyes pop out and whistles whilst their tongue rolls half a mile from their mouth at the sight of a pretty girl.

In a nutshell, that's exactly how Emmett looked.

"Your face will freeze if you keep it like that," I joked to him as I set my glass on the table and Bella and I took our seats, Bella seating herself comfortably on my lap, as always. I don't know why we did it, but we just always… had. It was like sitting next to each other wasn't enough for us. We wanted a closer connection, so Bella had always sat herself on my lap. I was never one to complain. I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her tightly.

"Have you seen the talent here tonight?" Emmett gushed. "Fuck, Cullen, I am gonna get laid tonight."

"Emmett! Ew!" Bella exclaimed. "A girl does not need to hear her brother say that!" She took a sip of her wine.

"He's right," I said, amused by Bella's shocked expression. "There are some pretty girls here."

"That may be," she said. "But your supposed to side with me, Eddy-Bear, not him." Jacob chuckled at her apparent annoyance.

"Say what you like, little sis," Bella's brother said, his eyes fixed steadily on one particular blond. "But Emmett's gonna go bag himself some pussy!"

"EMMETT!" she yelled in disgust as he left the table and followed the girl into the crowd. Jacob and I merely rolled our eyes. It was what we had come to expect from Emmett over the years. It's why we loved him. Bella folded her arms and huffed. "Jeez, he's such a fucking pig! My ears are scarred for life."

"Come on, Bella," Jacob said, standing up and offering her his hand. "I'm sure a dance will take your mind off the so-called pig."

Bella's face brightened as she gave me a swift kiss on the cheek and took Jacob's hand, the two of them getting lost in the crowd of dancers on the dance floor. I knew she'd always had a bit of a crush on her brother's best friend, so I wasn't too happy at letting her go, but she seemed so happy at his offer, and a happy Bella always meant a happy Edward. I let her go with him, not letting my problems and insecurities ruin her night. I sighed, leaning back in my seat, fingering the rim of the glass which I could never take a sip from as I watched them disappear.

I wished it was me up there dancing with her, I really did. I knew exactly what I'd do if I was. First of all, I'd twirl her around and hold her close, waiting for that giggle that always left her lips when she was having fun. I fucking loved that giggle. It was like music to my ears, an infectious sound that you could not help but reciprocate. Bella has always had that effect on people. She's just one of those very few human beings who can make a person smile merely from entering the room.

It was like she had a gift or something.

So, I like I said, I'd twirl her and hold her until she giggled, and then I'd wait for her to produce that blush, that God-damn blush that I used to love, but now only made me thirsty. Still fucking loved it, though. And then, when all that was done, I'd lean forward and whisper in her ear gently, telling her how much I loved and adored her. I'd confess everything, tell her that she was my world, my life, the one person I held above any other. Then I would wait for her reaction before realization dawned on her face. She would tell me she loved me back before we'd kiss, cementing our feelings, and we'd live happily ever after…

Instead I was sitting here, watching her dance with another guy.

He was the one holding her and making her giggle. He was the one producing that blush. And all I could do was watch because now I was fucking different, and everything I had planned for me and Bellsy-Boo was as good as dead.

But I loved her too fucking much to even consider letting her go, though. Jacob could dance with her all he liked, but Bellsy-Boo would _always_ be mine.

Always.

I could be a selfish bastard sometimes.

"Hey, handsome," came a voice to my left. I looked up to see Lauren Mallory looking back at me with wide, dialated eyes. Her smile was lazy and she reeked of alcohol. Bella and I had gone to high school with her, she was essentially Jessica Stanley's best friend. "Now what's a good looking guy like you doing sitting here all alone, huh? Don't you wanna dance?"

God how I wished I could drink that coke right now! Anything for a distraction.

"Depends who's asking," I replied lazily, turning my head away, trying to show that I wasn't interested.

"Well I am, silly! Come on," she said, grabbing my hand before I had barely a second to reply to her. She dragged me to the dance floor, her walk slightly tipsy as the alcohol began to affect her, and immediately wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body to mine.

I wanted to fucking heave!

Lauren Malory had been the 'it' girl of Forks High School. Every guy wanted to fuck her, and every girl wanted to fucking be her, Bella and I excluded, of course. I never liked the bitch. She was pretty skanky and a bit of a whore. There was a rumor that she once given our Math teacher a blow job in the janitor's closet, but no one ever knew if it was true. It was just the kind of gossip that used to spread about Lauren because that the kind of girl she was. She had a new guy on her arm every week and she was fucking a different guy in her bed every night.

So the very fact that she was attempting to gyrate against my body made me want to rip her head off. If it wasn't for that fact that everybody would stare and talk, I'd put that new found speed to good use and get the fuck out of there!

But there was nothing I could do and her grip was pretty tight, so I had to stand strong and live it out until the song was over. Then I was getting the hell out of there to find Bella.

I placed my hands on her hips, attempting to keep as much distance between us as possible, but the girl was drunk and after some loser to take home. Trust her to pick me! I didn't want Lauren's gross lips all over me and there was no way in hell that I was fucking her. I'd rather staple my head to a horse. Still, she was pressed pretty close to me, and there was no way in hell that she was going to move anytime soon.

"I've been eyeing you all night," she said into my ear as she pressed her cheek to mine, her voice slurred. "You look hot tonight, Cullen. Really hot." She moved her hands slowly down my chest. "My room mate is out tonight, if you're interested. So what do you say?"

But I couldn't say anything… because it had already hit me…

From the second her cheek pressed to mine, the scent fully reached my nose…

The adrenaline of the dancing…

The hormones raging in her body…

The effects of the alcohol…

They were all causing one problem.

The blood in the veins in her neck was pumping around her body so heavily that I could feel my mouth physically watering. My eyes widened as my breathing increased at the sudden smell of the delectable liquid and I clutched her hips tighter. I hadn't touched the stuff since leaving Doctor Cullen's house… and I wanted it so fucking much.

I'd resisted blood so much this week. My mom's blood, my dad's blood, Bella's blood, the blood of everyone I was closely surrounded by at this fucking party. But the burning itch at the back of my throat was beginning to irritate me. I suddenly leaned my head down to her neck, by body acting on its own, running my nose along Lauren's skin, allowing the scent to flood my senses.

Fuck, it smelt good.

Like the finest wine, like the richest chocolate, like a perfectly cooked steak… and it was completely mine for the taking.

She ran her hands through my hair, obviously taking my actions as some sort of reaction and consent to her proposition, but she could not have been more wrong. If anything, I wished it _was_ a reaction to her words, because what I wanted from her so much worse... and far more dangerous. All I wanted was the blood. I was craving it, I was dying for it, my mouth was watering for the stuff. I needed it so much. I pulled her neck closer to me, drew my lips back over my teeth and began to open my mouth…

And then I was shocked out of my trance by something that was so out of this world that I had to blink a few times to understand whether it was real. A slight pain entered my mouth, my tongue running across its source to discover what it was. I gasped…

Fangs.

I had fucking fangs.

Shit!

I pulled away from Lauren at lightening speed, standing stock still as all this registered in my head, practically throwing her across the dance floor in order to get the innocent girl away from me.

Oh lord…

I had fangs…

I had fangs from my craving for the blood…

I understood now, the Cullen's words hitting me hard, my mind reeling at the realization that everything they had said to me had been true. It all made sense now. The blood lust, the cold skin, the paleness, the speed, the strength… and now the fangs.

I really was a vampire.

Oh god…

"Edward?" came Bella's voice as she appeared in my line of vision, her voice shouting over the loud music. Her face was one of pure concern and worry as she pushed through the crowd to get to me. She must have seen what had happened to poor Lauren. "Edward, what's wrong?"

No, I couldn't let her see me like this, I couldn't let her see the monster I had become. I needed to get out of there. Now.

"Edward? Wait!" I heard her yell before I turned on my heel and ran out of that club as fast as my legs could carry me…

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	7. I'll be there for you

**Hello!**

**Thanks to jacobandedwardlover, janjan2009, mixmatched9, rosaliehale1994, Kstuart, Mistress Zafrina, trs1 and WeFallForever for their reviews. Thank you!**

**Uni work has seriously caught up with me this week, so it really is a miracle that I got this chapter out when I did. Consider yourselves lucky! Hope you all enjoy it.**

**The play list and banner for this story are on my profile. I also twitpic this story with TwiSherry on twitter if anyone cares.**

**On with it…**

**This chapter is named after "I'll be there for you" by The Rembrandts. This tune is a classic. End of.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer has yet to give me full ownership of Twilight, therefore it is still not mine.**

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Bella Swan's Point of View

"Edward!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, trying to be heard over the loud music, but he wasn't listening. He just kept running away from me, his direction seeming to be the exit. I called him again, fighting through the crowd of dancers to get to my best friend. I pushed, I pulled, I even elbowed one guy in the face because he wouldn't move. He began yelling and pulling faces at me, but I didn't give two fucks how pissed off he was at his freshly forming black eye.

Eddy-Bear needed me, so I had to get to him. That much was clear.

I saw Edward run through the double doors of the exit before I felt a warm hand grab my own. I quickly turned round to see Jacob looking at me with concern, his dark eyes glistening against the lights of the club. Sigh. If I wasn't so preoccupied with getting to Edward, I could probably have taken the time to appreciate how truly gorgeous Jake looked at that moment, and believe me, he looked mighty fine to me! Jeans hanging off his hips... tight white shirt showing me his strong chest and muscles... that white and toothy smile he always had... Jeez, I was going to need to be fanned in a second!

It wasn't a crush I had on Jacob; I merely thought he was hot. I mean, the guy is totally sex on fire… Okay, so maybe I have a teensy crush on him, and would loved to have danced with him for just a little longer, but Edward was in trouble, and Edward came first.

He always did.

"Bella, what's going on?" he questioned. I could totally understand his concern. I mean, I_ had _just totally blown the guy off mid-dance to run to Eddy-Bear.

"Sorry, Jake, I need to go," I said urgently. "It's Edward. I think something's up. You don't mind, do you?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. Edward obviously needs you. I'll find Emmett. Go."

"Thank you," I said gratefully before I turned on my heel and legged it out of the club as fast as these fucking shoes would allow.

The last time I ever wear heels. And I mean _ever_!

The air was cold when I got outside, the condensation coming heavily from my mouth proving that. Forks was the shittest place on Earth to live sometimes, especially when you're wearing a dress like mine. I made a mental note to bring a jacket next time! The street appeared empty, but that didn't defer me. I looked left and I looked right, my eyes peeled in order to find Edward. I had no idea where he could have gone. The street the club was in was relatively small and narrow, with a number of alleyways coming off it. But the main road was just down the way and that led into Forks town centre.

He could be anywhere.

And then I spotted it, the sight quickly darting down one of the alleyways. I'd know that bronze hair anywhere, so I quickly 'ran' to him.

Bloody shoes!

I had no idea what had happened in the club. All I knew was that I was having the time of my life with Jacob, and I mean the time of my life. The guy's hands were everywhere while we danced! On my body, along my arms, he even managed a quick grope of my ass. I knew he was more than likely totally liquored up, but hey, I was taking whatever chance I could with this guy! So yeah, my night had been going pretty dandy in my opinion… up until I saw Edward dancing with that whore, Lauren Malory. What the fuck? Edward hated Lauren Malory, we both did. Bitch used to bully me like nobody's business back in middle school. I think she was jealous because she secretly liked Edward and he seemed to spend all his time with me. Regardless of her motives, she had made my life a living hell, disgusting son-of-a-bitch.

Thing was, Edward hated her just as much as I did. The guy couldn't stand the girl. He even had his face buried in her neck. Ew! If he hated the slut so much, why the fuck was he dancing with her?

But all that anger and frustration and jealousy disappeared from my face as soon as I saw the trouble he was in. He suddenly seemed… different. He tensed up, standing as still as a statue before suddenly throwing Lauren half way across the dance floor, his eyes wide and his chest heaving in massive breaths. I could see his hands trembling and I knew something was up.

But what?

I ran down the alleyway and quickly found him by an old dumpster, crouched down with his back to me. His hands were fisting his hair so hard that I feared he would rip it from his head. I felt my heart rip in half when I heard his frightened sobs and whimpers, and saw his entire body trembling. Lord, I'd never seen him like this before.

The worst time I've seen him break down was when his grandfather died three years ago. But this? This was insane.

Edward looked utterly broken.

I fought my tears back, knowing I had to be the strong one here, as I stepped cautiously towards him.

"Edward?" I asked gently, my feet tapping lightly on the ground below. He stiffened immediately. "Edward… what's wrong?"

"Go away," he said warningly. "Bella, you need to go away."

I continued walking. "Talk to me, Edward. What's wrong?"

"Bella… please. If you know what's good for you, you'll go away and leave me alone."

As if I was going to do that! My best friend was in trouble and he needed me. Edward could be a stubborn ass sometimes.

"You know I can't do that," I said as I finally reached him, crouching down at his side. "Please, talk to me, Eddy-Bear."

He refused to move, his hands still in his hair, his face still covered and out of view. With a determined face, I reached out and put my hand on his cheek, gently pulling his face round to look at me. Bad idea. I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth, my body jerking away and recoiling, its own natural reaction to what I saw.

Holy fuck…

This… This wasn't real. No. It couldn't be real. If this was real, then I was the Queen of fucking England. And guess what? I'm not, so what I saw could not have been true. I didn't know if it was the darkness of the alleyway, the angle at which I was seeing Edward's face, or the wine I'd been drinking all night, but something was seriously affecting my vision. This just was not happening.

I slowly back up along the floor until my back hit the opposite wall of the alleyway.

His eyes, which were once green and then red, had become as black as coal and as wide as the moon. His skin was as pale as ever, almost like paper that would rip at the softest of touches. But those weren't the things that scared me the most.

It was the fangs protruding from his mouth that caused my sudden shock and fear.

Holy lord…

With my heart threatening to pound right from my chest, I could do nothing but stare with a gaped mouth at those two pointed teeth. You could see they weren't fake, they were as real as the nose on my face. My Edward had fangs… This was all sorts of fucked up, and I mean fucked up. I had no idea what I was expecting when I came outside to find him, but I wasn't expecting this.

He just stared at me, allowing me adequate time to take everything in. I knew that I'd have to be the first to speak.

"Edward…" I tried, not daring to move from my spot against the wall. I pulled my trembling knees up to my chest, keeping a safe distance between us. "I don't… what… how?" My head knew exactly what I wanted to say - I wanted to know what was happening, who wouldn't? - but my mouth didn't seem to be following my brain's instructions.

Fucking great time for me to get my words confused, huh? Well done, Bella!

He looked away from me then, his eyes focusing on the cold hard ground below. The grasp on his hair seemed to lessen somehow as his crouched body slumped down into a sitting position, his legs spread out in front of him. Edward had always been tall, so the feet on the end of his longs legs almost reached my curled up and defensive body. I subconsciously moved just a little further away.

"I didn't want you to know," he said, his voice deep and miserable. "I wanted you all to be kept in the dark about this, you should never have been able to find out, and I did everything in my fucking power to make sure nobody did…" He began to smirk. "I should have known _you'd _be the one to get it out of me in the end."

"G-Get what out of you?" I pressed. I had no real reason to fear him, he was still my best friend, but I still couldn't stop the slight fear that flooded my body.

He looked to me then, the blackness of his eyes making their depth seem never ending. "I wasn't in Seattle that week, Bella. I was nowhere near it."

Huh? I'm sorry, what?

My eyebrows furrowed. "But… I don't understand. You said-"

"I lied, Bells," he said with regret. "I had no choice but to lie. I couldn't have anyone knowing the truth, it would have destroyed me and everyone around me. But now you've… seen me, I guess I have no option but to tell you everything."

I began taking heavy breaths, my body anticipating whatever the hell he had to say. He was scaring me now. If he wasn't in Seattle, then where the fuck had he been? "Then… where were you?"

He took a deep breath. "I was attacked," he answered, my eyes widening and a whimper leaving my mouth. I was about to question him, when he raised a hand to me to let him continue. I reluctantly allowed him. "There were three of them. I was outside the library when it happened. Never saw the fuckers coming. They just… attacked, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop them. I thought I was a goner. Thankfully, Doctor Cullen and his children managed to chase them away before the worst happened."

Doctor Cullen? Jeez, this was getting better and better.

"Why was…" But I couldn't finish my sentence. I needed him to carry on.

"I don't know, but they helped me, they saved my life, Bella… but not before the others bit me."

"Bit you?"

Edward rubbed his hand over his face and ran his hands through his hair. It seemed he was struggling with this as much as I was listening to it.

I didn't understand. Who the hell would attack my Eddy-Bear? If I ever found out, I swear to god, the bastards wouldn't be worth keeping alive. Nobody does that to my Edward, and they'd be fifty shades of fucked up once I'd finished with them.

"I wasn't in Seattle because I was with the Cullens that week," he finally got out, his words slow and wary, testing my reaction to them. Of course, it was confusion.

"Why? You could have come home, Edward," I tried. "We could have taken care of you. If you were attacked, we could have helped you. You know that. Why didn't you come home?"

This was hurting my head. If Edward was attacked and hurt, he should have come home to his family and friends. There were no other people better to help him than us. We knew him better than anyone else, we loved him better than anyone else. Sure, Doctor Cullen could have healed him and shit, but why wasn't he brought home? Why weren't we even informed of his condition? Doctors _are_ supposed to do that, right? Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that's the way it usually works! If my best friend had been hurt and injured for a week, I wanted to know the fuck why I hadn't been told about it.

"Because I couldn't, Bella. You don't understand," he argued.

"What's there not to understand?" I said, getting slightly angry. "You were hurt, Edward. We should have at least been informed. What the hell was Doctor Cullen thinking?"

"It's not as straight forward as that. I was hurt, but not in a way that you could have helped me. I needed the Cullens, Bella."

"Why?" I yelled. "What the fuck could they have done that we couldn't have?"

"Everything," he shouted, his temper flaring up. We both pretty much ranked even on tempers. It's why we never fought. Neither one would ever back down, so our fights could go on for days without one of us yeilding. So we simply never fought. Case closed... until now, that is. "There was nothing you or my parents could have done, Bella. You have no idea how much I wanted to go to you all, but I needed the Cullens more than I needed you right then."

Okay… that hurt. That seriously fucking hurt.

Edward has never said that to me before. He's never _not_ needed me, and he's certainly never needed someone else more than me. If I was honest, I never thought I'd hear those words leave his mouth. Guess I was wrong, huh? I guess he didn't really need me now. We were 20 and 21, after all. We weren't kids anymore.

"Why?" I whispered, the anger in my voice disappearing as sadness took over.

I was not expecting his answer, I don't think anyone could have expected it.

"I… I think I'm a vampire, Bella."

I just stared at him, not saying anything. I didn't even know _what _I'd say to him. What possible answer can you give to that… well, apart from asking him whether he was slightly demented and a little insane? Edward Cullen, university student and perfectly sane human being, had just admitted to me that he might be a vampire…

Nope, not a single thing came to mind.

Realizing that I wasn't going to say anything, Edward repeated his words. "I'm a vampire, Bella."

I hesitated before finally allowing something to leave my lips. It was an amused snort. "Seriously, that's the best you can come up with? Jeez, Edward. At least come up with something inventive like I hate you or I don't need you anymore or Rosalie Cullen is my new best friend."

His serious look clearly showed that he wasn't amused by my remark. He really needed to lighten up. His eyes were hard, his lips set into a tight line.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on, Edward. Vampires, really? You cannot be serious. What are you, 8?"

Again, he said nothing. He just stared at me, his face completely composed. I began to feel a little uneasy under his intense glare. And then he pulled his lips back, showing me those fangs, a gasp leaving my lips again.

Yeah, suddenly I'm not so amused either.

He had fangs… Fuck.

"You really are serious, aren't you?" I asked. He nodded. All the air in my lungs suddenly left me. "Oh my god…"

"I didn't want you to find out this way, Bellsy-Boo, I swear. But it's true."

"You're a vampire, Edward. You're a fucking vampire."

"I know."

"And the Cullens?" I enquired, not trusting my own voice.

"Vampires," he replied. Them too? Shit!

Guess that's why he needed them more. Okay, I'll give him that one.

I let out a sigh, my shoulders falling, my mind whizzing at a hundred miles an hour. I felt like I had no energy, like I was completely deflated in my shock and fear.

Right, lets see if we can figure all this out, shall we? - Edward was not in Seattle as he previously told us. No, he was, in fact, living with Doctor Cullen and his family. The reason for this was because he was attacked that night, and was bitten before turning into what seems to be a vampire.

Yeah, this sounds insane.

Completely and utterly insane.

I was getting a headache.

My eyes slowly moved to look up at him. He was looking back at me expectantly. I swallowed. "So," I began, biting my lip. "What happens now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll leave and just go back to living at the Cullen's house and-"

I suddenly got my energy back.

"No!" I exclaimed, diving towards him without even thinking, jumping into his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, embracing him and holding him to me. He wanted to go, he actually wanted to leave. Fuck off!

"Don't you fucking dare, Edward Cullen or, so help me God, I'll rip those fucking fangs from your mouth with my bare hands!"

"Jeez, Bella," he chuckled, wrapping his cold arms around my body and holding me back. "Dramatic much?"

"I can't help it," I said. "I just can't let you leave me, not again. Visit the Cullens all you want, but please, don't leave again." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes at the very thought of it. One week without Eddy-Bear had been enough, but forever? Well, you may as well kill me and stick me six feet under right now.

A life without Edward wasn't a life worth living, so the idea of him leaving to live with the Cullens was completely out of the question. End of.

"I'm a vampire, Bella. I'm dangerous."

"Edward, I don't care what you are. You're still my best friend and I'll stay with you forever. Just please, don't leave me again."

He held me tighter and buried his face in my hair, sighing. "Bella, you know I'd never leave you. No matter how bad things get for me, I'd never find the strength to leave you."

"Good," I answered, sounding like a spoilt child. Hey, I didn't care! Edward meant too much to me, so if I did sound as pathetic as I did, so what?

"But I still need to visit to them and go them, I need their help. There's so much I need to learn, and only they can teach me. I'm a vampire for fuck's sake, this stuff is kinda new to me."

"Then let me come with you," I replied, pulling away from the hug and looking at his face, brushing my thumbs over his icy cold cheeks. His eyes weren't black anymore, they seemed red again. "I can help you… I don't know how, but I can. You need me Eddy-Bear. Please."

He smiled then, pressing his forehead to mine. "I always need you, Bellsy-Boo, vampire or not."

I giggled. "Damn straight. I just want to help you in anyway I can."

"Fine," he chuckled. "If you insist."

"I do insist," I replied, causing him to chuckle a little more.

"And you're not freaked out about all this?" he pondered.

"Are you kidding? This is completely fucked up, Edward, in every possible sense, but I don't care. You're still Eddy-Bear, whether you're human or… vampire. It doesn't matter to me. I'll stay with you through it all, I promise."

"Any other person would have run miles away by now," he observed.

"Not from you they wouldn't," I smiled.

"You still have the chance."

I shook my head. "I'm staying, no matter what."

He buried his face in my neck then, my body shivering as his lips lightly kissed my throat where my pulse lay. Surprisingly, it didn't freak me out or scare me. I closed my eyes, needing my best friend close to me.

It was true. My best friend was a vampire, no matter how crazy it sounded… and it didn't bother me a single bit. He still looked like Edward, he still sounded like Edward, he still acted like Edward. I did not care one bit what sort of creature he was, because I'd stay by his side regardless. It was going to take a bit of time to get round to the idea that Edward now drank blood for a living, but I knew I would. At the end of the day, my best friend of seventeen years needed me, and I would never forgive myself if I wasn't there for him.

"You're too good to me," he whispered, his breath fanning across the skin of my throat as his arms held me against his chest.

"Aren't I always?" I smiled, running my fingers softly through his hair.

"Hmmm," he replied, kissing my neck sweetly again. "Love you, Bellsy-Boo."

I giggled and rested my cheek on top of his head. "Love you too, Eddy-Bear."

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**I'm also on Twitter if anyone cares. I'm rachydoodle03. Link is on my profile.**


	8. The cullen's plan

**Good day!**

**Thanks to teambellaedward, trs1, shyshy1016, mixmatched9, rosaliehale1994, Dulcinea21bella, WeFallForever, BellaSand and bjelaja for their reviews. Thanks, guys!**

**Apologies for the late update. Real life decided to rear its ugly head this week and I barely had a second to step anywhere near a computer. So I am very sorry for that.**

**We're off to meet the Cullens this chapter, and hopefully some of your questions will be answered. This chapter was quite a challenge to write as it's basically just pages of dialogue and explanations, but I like a challenge, and hopefully you all enjoy this chapter!**

**On with it…**

**This chapter is named after "The Cullen's Plan" by Howard Shore, which is from the Eclipse Score Soundtrack.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still isn't mine!**

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Bella Swan's Point of View

"Bella, I don't know about this," Edward said as he cut the engine of his Volvo, the hum of the machine dipping suddenly into silence. He leaned back in his seat, his eyes fixed on the large white house in front of us. I could tell he was nervous. He was doing that weird swallowing shit he always did when he was anxious, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down like a bouncy ball.

I looked to him and smiled, offering him comfort which he blatantly needed. "You have questions about all this, right?" I asked. He nodded silently. "Then the Cullens are the only people who can answer those questions. I'm here to help you, you know that, but I don't have a clue what the fuck is happening here. They do. You need them."

"But what if they're pissed off with me?" he questioned, running his hands through his hair, yet another nervous twitch he had. "I did kinda bolt from their house without so much as a good bye and thank you for taking care of me."

"You were scared, Eddy-Bear," I argued. "And you were confused and nervous. What do they expect? Trust me, they will help you. Besides, there's no one else around here who can answer your questions. We have to at least try."

He hesitated for a few moments in silent contemplation before he let out a sigh and clicked open his seatbelt. "Right, no better time than the present."

We both got out of the car and made our way towards the large Cullen mansion, our footsteps crunching along the large and gravelly driveway. The place was fucking fancy! It could house at least fifty people, never mind just the five who lived there. The Cullens had always been rich, though, so I wasn't completely surprised that they owned a place like this. Carlisle, in all his fantastic good-lookingness, was a doctor whilst his wife was an interior designer. Practically everyone in Forks went to her for advice and assistance, so she made just as much cash as her husband did. Their children were just as good. The three of them had always been top of every class in school, so the pathways to good and high-paying jobs were completely open to them.

Lucky fuckers!

I slipped my hand into Edward's as we stepped up onto the pristine white wooden porch - complete with swinging bench, I might add - and pressed the doorbell. I could feel his hand trembling in my own, so I ran my thumb across his cool skin, easing him as best as I could.

"Thanks, Bells," he smiled towards me, squeezing my hand back.

The front door suddenly opened, revealing Rosalie Cullen in all her supermodel glory. Bitch! I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Rosalie Cullen. She's never done anything to upset me and I've always gotten on with her whenever we've spoken… but the girl is head to toe hot! No person should be _that _good looking.

It isn't fair. Why does she get all the beauty and perfection when little old me is sitting here with boring brown hair and the plainest face in Forks? Damn her and her perfect genes!

"I wondered when you'd show your face again," she smiled towards Edward, cocking her head to the side. She opened the door wider and stood aside. "Come on in."

We stepped inside the house, slipping our shoes off so as not to mark the pure white carpet, and hanging up our coats near the door on an individual, freshly polished brass hook. "Everyone's in the living room," Rosalie said as she began leading us through the house. "This way... and don't touch anything. Esme has just dusted the furniture and polished the surfaces."

I made sure to keep my spare hand tucked tightly into my jean's pocket.

My eyes glanced anywhere and everywhere as we walked through the large house. Effing hell! This house was… it was… Fuck, I wanted to live here. It was just so… amazing. It was big, it was pretty, it was stunning. There was something new to look at around every turn. There were modern features, old features, new technologies, old antiques. The house was like one big contradiction, but it worked.

I wondered if they'd adopt me!

"You okay?" I whispered to Edward as Rosalie opened the living room door to reveal the rest of the family, the four of them seated comfortably in front of a large plasma screen TV. Yes, it was a plasma screen. A sixty-inch plasma screen. I could feel the drool sliding down my chin.

"I'll tell you in about ten minutes," he smirked as the Cullens all stood up in perfect sync to greet us.

I felt Edward stiffen at my side as Carlisle approached us, his hand held out in front of him. His smile seemed genuine and he gave off an air of kindness and sincerity. Edward had nothing to worry about. He wasn't in trouble. I could feel it.

"It's good to see you again, Edward," Carlisle smiled. "We were beginning to worry about you."

Edward let go of my hand and placed it in Carlisle's, shaking it in welcome. "I've been a little… busy."

"I can believe you," the doctor replied with a chuckle as he gestured for us to take a seat.

"Can I get you a glass of blood?" asked Esme, standing up from her chair with a grace that I could only wish for.

"Please," Edward replied as we both sat down on the large leather sofa that took up residence in the centre of the room. Edward immediately pulled me to his side until our hips were touching, encasing my hand in his hand, linking our fingers together.

"Would you like anything, Isabella?" Esme proceeded to asked. "I'm afraid we only have water."

"Water will be fine, thank you," I smiled before she walked out of the room and off to the kitchen.

Carlisle took a seat across from Edward and I, four sets of eyes now focused on us and holding us in. It was pretty uncomfortable, if I was honest, having eight eyes fixed on you like you're some kind of freak show that had been placed there for everyone's entertainment. They were all glaring at us, expectantly and keenly. Well, Edward wasn't some dancing bear and I was no fucking bearded lady, so the freak show was officially cancelled.

I wanted answers, not glares.

This continued on until Esme finally arrived with our drinks, thank God. I knew the Cullens had always been weird, but fuck! This was extremely uncomfortable. It felt like they were judging us, even though I knew they weren't. Even though they were weird, they had always been good people… but did they need to stare in a deathly silence? I mean, Alice looked like a little china doll, sitting there with glazed and unblinking eyes, golden and fixed on both Edward and I.

Whoa… hang on. Golden?

"So, I assume you're here to ask a few questions, Edward," stated Carlisle. I had to hand it to the guy, he was straight to the point.

"Yes," said Edward, downing his blood in one gulp before standing the empty glass on the coffee table in front of us. Jeez, he really must have been yearning for the blood this week. "But first of all, I'd like to apologize for running out on you all like I did. It was disrespectful and rude, especially after everything you had done for me."

Carlisle smiled and leaned forward in his chair, resting his arms on his knees and clasping his hands together in front of him. "There is nothing to apologize for. We've all been there at some point. The initial change is a shock to the system and we all do things we don't wish to do. It was a good job yours was as simple as running home."

"Are you saying me running away was a good thing?" Edward asked incredulously. My surprised face probably matched his.

"Well… not a good thing per se, but it was certainly easier than some of us were."

"What do you mean?" Eddy-Bear asked.

"When I was turned," began Rosalie, a satisfied smirk spreading across her lips, "the first thing I did was murder my fiancé and every last one of his disgusting friends. The bastards deserved every damn thing they got. Their screams were amazing."

I shivered. Yeah, suddenly Edward's reaction didn't seem half bad compared to the psycho blond sitting across from me.

"I still want to apologize," my best friend continued. "It was wrong of me, especially since I knew there was so much you still needed to teach me… still _do_ need to teach me. I was dangerous, and yet I still left, knowing that I shouldn't have."

"Then your apology is accepted," said Carlisle. "And I assume from her being here with you today, Isabella knows everything?"

"I didn't mean to find out," I quickly interjected, feeling almost like a naughty child making up excuses for breaking a window. I didn't have a clue regarding the policy about human and vampire interaction, but I had a feeling that I should still be in the dark about all this. "And Edward didn't want to tell me, I swear. It all just sort of… happened."

"How?" asked Jasper, speaking up for the first time since we'd entered the house. I'd known from school that Jasper has always been the quietest of the Cullen children.

"I almost attacked a girl," Edward sighed, and I could sense the anguish and regret in his voice. I squeezed his hand just a little tighter. "I panicked and I ran out. Bella… She found me... She helped me… She accepted me… I just…"

"It's okay, Eddy-Bear," I whispered in his ear, leaning my head on his shoulder. He brushed his lips across the top of my head. I knew this was hard for him. He was finally learning the truth of what he was. He was finally going to discover the ins and outs of his condition as well as learning how to adapt to it.

I think I'd be pretty fucking terrified too.

"I assume from all this that _you_ have accepted what you are, then?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," Edward nodded. "I'm a vampire, I see that now."

"When did the penny finally drop?" Rosalie asked with a smirk. Now it was my turn to glare. I didn't care that she was a strong and immortal vampire who could out win me easily, nobody mocks my Eddy-Bear.

"When I attacked the girl… I had fangs, Doctor Cullen. That's never happened to me before. I just smelt the blood and they just… appeared!"

"That's the predator in you," Carlisle explained. "You're adapting to your new lifestyle now, and the fangs appear when we hunt. Just the mere smell of the blood is enough to make them grow."

"But I've had blood before and they've never appeared," Edward tried.

"That's because you've never hunted for the blood before," Alice explained. "Whilst you were here, you always had the blood brought to you in a bag, so the fangs were never needed. You never had to search it out for yourself and you never had to hunt for it yourself. Attacking that girl was the first time that you've had to find your own life source. Your body adapted so that you can feed. Voila! You got fangs."

Hmmm. Makes sense I suppose.

"So that will happen every time I hunt?" Edward asked.

"Yes," nodded Jasper. "The fangs are our only means of gaining the blood without ripping the blood source to shreds. They make a quick clean puncture in the skin and allow you to feed more easily and safely.."

"But I don't know how to hunt," Edward admitted, scratching his fingers along the back of neck. He seemed almost embarrassed.

"That's what we're here for," grinned Alice, standing up and taking Edward's hands, pulling him up from his seat. I released his hand as I let him go.

"What's going on?" Eddy-Bear's eyes were wide and concerned, almost like he was terrified. You'd never believe he was a big strong vampire, would you?

"There's no time like the present to try something, is there?" the little pixie said. "Let's go hunt. From how quickly you cleared your glass, I think you need it."

And like that they were gone, their bodies suddenly blurring out of the room like a blast of wind, leaving emptiness behind them. I had to blink a few times to see if they had actually vanished! Only Jasper, Rosalie and myself remained behind.

I felt uncomfortable as I sat there without Edward's reassuring presence, majorly uncomfortable. A heavy silence hung in the room as the three of us sat there, a silence that I didn't know how to fill. I mean, what exactly do you say to two people you hardly know and have nothing in common with, who just so happen to be vampires? Yeah, not a fucking lot!

So I started with the one thing I knew best, the one topic that I was a complete expert on and could discuss for hours on end given the chance - Edward.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I questioned in a nervous voice.

"He'll be fine, he has been all week… apart from the party, of course," answered Jasper, his arms folded across his chest, a pleased grin on his lips. "A little hunting won't hurt him. You'll find he'll be grateful for the lesson and the encouragement."

"All week?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed.

"You don't seriously think we'd leave a newborn vampire to fend for his self, do you, Bella?" laughed Rosalie as she replaced Edward at my side. "We've been watching him since he left. We always made sure to keep an eye on the little newborn."

Well, I wouldn't exactly call Edward little, but that was neither here nor fucking there. All that mattered was that he had been looked after and protected, regardless of the fact that he didn't exactly know. I was just grateful that this family had enough kindness and generosity in their hearts to take it upon themselves to watch out for him without being asked to.

"You've been watching him?" I asked, the happy and grateful grin refusing to leave my lips.

"Of course," Rosalie said. "He's been quite fun to watch, both of you have. Though, he mopes around a lot at night when he's alone. We're going to need to stop that, it's depressing."

"Both of us?" I exclaimed. Okay, it was one thing keeping an eye on Edward, but watching me was plain fucking weird.

"The two of you are never apart. It's impossible not to watch you."

"Oh," I said, lowering my eyes, fixing them on a particularly interesting piece of cotton dangling from the bottom of my shirt. Ah. Guess they weren't stalkers after all. "So, how's he been this week. I mean… is he a top-notch vamp?" My attempt as pleasantries and humor was utter shit, but I felt nervous around these creatures. Sure, they were good and kind and welcoming, but it could take just a mere second for them to bite me and drink me dry. I could never be too careful.

"He's not been too bad," Jasper explained. "He seems able to control the strength and the speed pretty easily. His problem just seems to be the blood lust."

"I know he's been hungry," I said, picking up my glass of water and taking a quick sip before putting it back down again. "He told me that he hasn't eaten since he was last here. I worry about him. He said he's too scared to feed, he's too scared he'll get someone hurt."

"That's why we want to help him, Bella," Rosalie said. "We've all been in that position, so we all know what he's going through. With our help and with constant practice, we'll get him onto the animal diet in no time."

"Animal diet?" I asked. To say I was confused was the understatement of the fucking century. Call me crazy, but vampires only eat blood, right? I always figured that mass consumption of blood was a telltale sign that you may just be a vampire. Edward only seemed to want blood, so why the fuck where they talking about animals?

"It's our food source," Rosalie explained. "We do not feed from human blood like regular vampires do. We like to keep a little normalcy in our lives. We want to live with humans and integrate into their society, and we can't very well do that if we want to kill and feed from them, can we? So we drink animal blood instead. Granted, it's not as tasty and delectable as human blood, and it gives a strange golden color to our eyes, but we can survive on it and it means we can live normal lives without the temptation of feeding from humans."

Ah, so that explains the gold rather than the red. That's another question answered that I can tick off my list!

"And you want Edward to feed from animals?" I questioned.

"Yes," Rosalie replied. "Then he can continue living in society without the fear of detection. But what you have to understand about Edward is that he is a newborn, Bella. All he wants is human blood, animal blood just won't do."

"So how do we get Edward to feed from animals?" I looked at both of them nervously. If Eddy-Bear wanted humans, how was he going to accept animals?

"We wean him from human blood to animal blood," said Jasper. "It's the only logical and safe way to do it."

"But he won't hunt for it," I explained. "After the whole Lauren incident, he's terrified of hurting someone, human or animal. He is scared of feeding."

"We understand this. It took me years to finally go onto an animal diet," said Jasper. He had finally decided to take a seat. He seemed less dominating and scary when sitting down. It made me feel somewhat more comfortable. "For years I lived off humans, so going to animals was hard for me. But I had help. I had my Alice at my side, guiding me and assisting me through it all, and I was eventually able to overcome the problems. Edward will too."

"Then maybe there's something _I_ can do to help. If Alice helped you, maybe I can help Edward," I suggested brightly.

Jasper and Rosalie suddenly looked at each other, a silent conversation happening between them that I clearly wasn't invited to. In a flash, their eyes separated and both turned to me again.

"There _is _something you can do," Jasper said. "Something which you fully have to commit too and accept. You cannot take this lightly. Are you truly willing to help Edward?"

"I'll do anything for him," I said in earnest, my fists clenched together in my lap. I'd do anything, truly anything to help Eddy-Bear. He meant the world to me, so if I could even do the tiniest thing to help him, I'd fucking do it without question.

"Edward is going to need human blood," Rosalie explained. "And while we can give him the blood bags from the hospital, it won't be enough. A newborn needs new, fresh blood and plenty of it. Carlisle won't be able to get hold of that much without being suspected, which is why we need a willing human to feed Edward."

A heavy silence suddenly encased the room. You could hear a pin drop.

"You mean me," I swallowed, my throat suddenly going rather dry.

"Yes," replied Jasper.

Again, another silence.

"Edward needs fresh human blood… and you want me to be the one to provide it." It was a statement, not a question.

"Bella, you have to know that we aren't demanding this of you, we are asking. We totally understand if you say no, but we need a constant blood source in order to wean him from it."

"And how will it work?" I enquired.

"It's like weaning a person from anything. We start with him feeding from you, your blood being his main food source, giving him just a little animal blood afterwards," began Jasper. "After that, we give him less and less of your blood every time and more of the animal blood. He should be able to hunt for this himself after the first few feeds and take as much animal blood as he can. By the end of it, he should be totally immune from human blood and should feed only from animals."

"Is that how you did it?" I asked Jasper.

"Yes," he nodded. "The theory is tried and tested and it does work, Bella. Whereas Alice and I had to find our own humans, Edward won't. My past allowed me to feed from the humans without trouble, but if Edward is fearful, he is going to need a blood source that is willing and ready."

I didn't ask Jasper about his past, I figured it was a conversation for another day, a day when I didn't have so much on my mind and so much to consider.

Truth was, though, there was nothing to consider. I knew I was going to be the blood source, and I think Jasper and Rosalie knew too. There hadn't been any real need to ask really. I would go to the ends of the fucking Earth and back for my Eddy-Bear, and he'd do the same for me. The only way he could live a normal life was to be free of the temptation of human blood. If not, he would have to be kept away, sent into hiding, taken away from me to never be seen again… and I couldn't have that. Without doing this, he would be dangerous to everyone around him, and a normal life would be out of the question.

I wanted to help him, I wanted to assist him through all of this, and if being his own personal blood bank was the only way I could do that, so be it.

He needed me, and I would help him in any way possible.

"I'll do it," I said in a determined tone, putting on a strong front. The reality of it was that I was downright fucking terrified. I liked my blood where it was, thank you very much! Being a walking talking food mobile wasn't exactly my idea of fun. But Edward would have done it for me were I in his position, so I was more than willing to do it for him.

"Bella, you have to be sure about this," Rosalie said. "This is a dangerous decision to make, it's not all plain sailing. There will be sickness, dizzy spells-"

"I don't care," I said, cutting Rosalie off. "I said I would do anything to help him, and if this is what I have to do, then fine. I just want to aid my best friend."

They both nodded, realizing the truth and the weight of my choice. Rosalie was right, this was going to be dangerous. My body was going to go to the fucking shits by the end of it. I'd be thin, tired, ill, sick, you name it… but in the end, it would be worth it to support Edward and give him a normal and functioning life again.

I wasn't what mattered here. He was.

"Of course he won't feed from you whenever he pleases, it won't be healthy for you and it can get dangerous. We will help him pace his self," explained Jasper, my ears listening eagerly, taking every ounce of information in. "And with Carlisle being a doctor, we will give you all the medical help we can."

"Thank you," I nodded with a nervous smile, reaching for my water with slightly shaking fingers.

"Bella, are you really sure about this?" asked Rosalie as I heard the front door open and close, signaling the Cullen's and Edward's return.

"Completely," I replied, finishing the last drops of my drink.

Jeez, when I came here this morning, I was hoping for answers, not a promise to giveaway my blood whenever it was needed. I felt like I'd signed my fucking life away or something! But I didn't care. It was all worth it.

He was worth it.

But there was just one tiny problem…

I now had to find a way to explain all this to Edward.

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**I'm also on twitter if anyone gives a damn. I'm rachydoodle03. Link is on my profile. Also, for any World's Apart readers out there, please vote on the poll on my profile. Cheers!**


	9. Blood

**Good day, everyone!**

**A massive thanks to teambellaedward, mixmatched9, bjelaja, Pianogirl05, shyshy1016, rosaliehale1994, janjan2009, trs1, BellaSand, Cina's and Dulcinea21bella for their reviews. Thanks, guys!**

**1. Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. Real life has once again decided to intervene, and what real life wants, real life gets!**

**2. Uni assignments are due to attack me for the next few weeks, so I will get out any chapters I can. Just thought I'd give you all a fair warning. They may be a little slow for a while.**

**3. My thoughts go out to the victims of the terrible disasters in Japan. My love to any Japanese readers out there.**

**4. The banner and completed play list for this story are now on my profile. My twitter link is also on there, if anyone cares.**

**5. I don't claim to be a doctor, so I apologize for any medical inaccuracy in this chapter. Also, I'm from England, so I used whatever knowledge I had on American football for this chapter... which turned out to be not a lot!**

**On with it…**

**This chapter is named after "Blood" by the Editors. Amazing song. I saw these guys play in concert a few years back. They were brilliant!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, never have, never will.**

* * *

Bella Swan's Point of View

"Have you got your jacket?" I asked.

"Yes," replied Edward.

"Got the keys to my truck?"

"Yes."

"Got the banner I made for Emmett's team?"

"Yes." But this answer came with an eye roll. I made a banner. So fucking what? Big whoop. Deal with it, Cullen!

"Then as soon as Jacob arrives, we're ready to go," I grinned, bouncing on my feet in excitement.

Tonight, after a long thought process in which Edward had the nerve to call me a terrible little sister, we had decided we were going to Emmett's football game. Emmett coaches the local kid's team in his spare time. Back during his days at school, Emmett was the best player at Forks High, took them to the championships and everything. It wa safe to say that the team won many times under Emmett's captaincy. He loved the sport so much that, when he left school, he decided to continue with it and teach kids how to play too. His team usually met twice a week, but tonight was their first game of the season, and Edward, Jacob and I were going to cheer them on.

"Do we have to take Jacob?" Edward asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Surely the guy can make his own way there. He's not an invalid... although he may look like one." He muttered the last part under his breath.

"Edward!" I exclaimed. How dare he talk of sexy-assed Jacob like that! The guy was my brother's best friend, so of course I was going to take him to Emmett's game...

Plus I'd been dying for an excuse to have his ripped body sat next to mine since I'd met the guy! Trust me, if you saw him you'd understand why.

"What's the problem? We have plenty room in my truck for the three of us and we'd be doing him a favor. Plus, he'd have to take his own car otherwise and another car on the road is bad for the environment. Have you ever heard of global warming? Do you want the planet to die, Edward?"

Edward huffed, stuffing his hands tightly in his pockets. "I just don't see why we have to take him, that's all. He's capable of taking himself."

I just shook my head and ignored him. He was being fucking ridiculous. Seriously, what was the problem? Jacob had merely asked to ride with us; it's hardly a crime to share a car with friends. But Edward had been acting this way since I'd mentioned Jacob. He'd just being sulking and mopping around, muttering utter nonsense under his breath. He'd never had a problem with Jacob before, so I didn't understand the sudden turnaround. I wondered whether his moodiness was to do with his sudden change. Regardless, there was no need to take it out on Jake, or act like a sulking child in the process.

A knock came from the front door.

"Ah, that'll be Jacob," I said. "I think I'll go answer the door and kindly offer him a lift instead of being an idiotic ass-hole." I made extra sure to bob my tongue out at Eddy-Bear as I stepped past him. I opened the door.

"Hey, Bella," smiled Jacob as he stood there leaning against the doorframe, his pearly white teeth on full show. His body was covered in a tight white t-shirt that was covered in a leather jacket. He wore jeans which hung off his hips, completely showing off his perfect physique.

I was ready to swoon!

"Hi, Jacob," I blushed, twirling a strand of hair around my finger. "You, er, ready to go?"

"Sure am," he replied. "Ready when you are." He looked towards my best friend. "Hey, Edward."

"Jacob," he muttered in greeting before he pushed his way past him, out of the front door and round to my truck. Jeez, he needed to lighten up. He was taking this moody, melancholy vampire thing too far. It was getting _me _down, never mind him. Yeah, I get it, he has pointy teeth now, but did he really need to go all goth and depressing on my ass? Still, Jacob and I followed him and the three of us clambered into my truck. I let Edward drive my baby considering he wouldn't be too pleased being seated next to Jacob. This was fine by me! Let Edward drive whilst I can sit skin on skin with the hottest guy in Forks?

Why, yes. Yes please!

Edward was silent for most of the drive while Jake and I talked about everything and nothing. Considering he had been Emmett's best friend since the beginning of high school, this was probably the most I'd ever spoken to him, partly because Emmett was always around, but mainly because I'd always been too shy and scared to build up the courage to speak one fucking word to him.

Right now, however, you couldn't shut me up. And I didn't want to shut up either. I was in pure heaven.

I really enjoyed his company. Jacob was funny, sweet, kind and he always knew how to fill the silence. He was just generally a great guy… not to mention his hot body. And what I say hot, I mean hot! And not just because he worked out, he actually felt warm, oddly so. The guy was on fucking fire, I tell you. I just put it down to the adrenaline and the heat of the three of us packed together in my truck. Still, he got no complaints from me.

We arrived just as the stands were beginning to fill up with parents and football fans. Forks High School was kind enough to let the league borrow their field to use for games, so many of the kids from the school came too. We quickly found three empty seats about half way up and sat down… me in the middle, of course.

We settled ourselves in as the teams warmed up on the field below. It was quite a cold night considering that it was May, but hey, this is Forks. What else do you expect? I zipped my jacket right up to my chin and hugged myself. Anything to keep in the warmth.

But I was in quite a strange position when I thought about it. Here I was, stuck in the middle to two hot men, one of them ridiculously warm and the other sitting there like an ice cube. My body didn't know which way to turn. I wanted to be warm, not on fire! The cold side wanted to turn to Jacob while the hot side wanted to shift in Edward's direction.

Still, I sat there and bore it. Not a lot else I could fucking do, was there?

"You okay?" I asked Edward. He was being unusually quiet. I knew it was down to Jacob's presence, but I still didn't want my best friend to feel left out.

He was as still as a statue.

He swallowed. "There's a lot of people here tonight. More than I thought there would be. The smell is strong."

My eyebrows furrowed… and then it hit me.

Shit! The blood. With how many people surrounded us, the smell must have hit him hard.

I'd yet to enlighten Edward with my little plan of feeding him… mainly because I knew he'd flat out say no. But despite the fact he'd been hunting animals for the past few days, I could tell it wasn't helping. He was becoming paler by the day and the black circles around his eyes were getting darker and darker. He needed human blood.

Thing is, how do you tell your best friend to take a bite and dig in when the blood source happens to be your own? I had no problem with it, I wouldn't have agreed to it otherwise. And I knew what I was in for, I wasn't fucking stupid. I knew the blood loss was going to send my body to the shits. The problem would be getting Edward to accept my decision and go ahead with it. He wouldn't hurt me for the world, I knew that. He would put me before himself any day, but this was my choice. I was willing to give him the blood. I just prayed that he would take it.

"Do you want to go?" I asked, placing my hand on his arm. "We can go, I don't mind."

He turned to look at me and smiled. "I'll be fine," he said as the teams finally got into position for the game to start. "I have to get used to the scent eventually, right?"

"But I can help you, Edward. I-" but the sound of the whistle indicating the start of the game, and the cheering crowd completely drowned me out. The game had begun.

I turned my body towards the players below, tapping my fingers on my knees, my eyes not really paying attention. I had to get this out into the open; I had to get this off my chest. Emmett's football game probably wasn't the best place in the world to tell Edward everything, especially in front of hundreds of humans who had no idea vampires existed, but I felt it needed to be said now. He had to know that I was going to be his blood source. He was as still as a statue, his teeth gritted and his body tense. He was trying to be strong, I knew that, but the blood was affecting him. He needed help.

Not much happened for the first ten minutes. Both teams came close to scoring and one guy went off injured, but that was about it. Edward seemed to relax a little more too since the crowd has quietened down a little in order to watch the game. Maybe Edward and I could discuss everything later on in the privacy of my room where no unknowing humans could come and interrupt us. If we could just get through this for the next few hours, then everything would be perfectly fine and we could discuss the blood source idea in detail. I felt myself starting to relax too and I actually began to pay attention to the game, and I really began to enjoy myself...

That was until Emmett's team scored.

The crowd went wild, screaming, standing, jumping up and down in celebration. The atmosphere was amazing. Jacob stood up to cheer too and I found myself doing the same. I turned to Edward in order to celebrate but the smile was quickly wiped from my face. He remained seated, his head in his hands, his fingers tugging roughly on his hair, his body trembling.

"Edward?" I cried, placing my hand on his shoulder, bowing down to meet his face. He looked up at me with terrified eyes, and I knew the problem immediately. His fangs were on full show. "Oh god," I whispered.

My heart pounded and my stomach dropped as a sudden feeling of dread coursed through my body. He could smell the blood pumping through everyone's excitable bodies. No, he couldn't be like this, not with all these people here. What if they found out his secret? What if he attacked one of them? Either way, it was bad news for Edward. He needed to move and he needed to move now.

I turned to Jacob. "Be right back," I said, not even waiting around for a reply. Now was not the time for fucking replies! I grabbed Edward's arm, pulled him up, and ushered him through the crowd and down the steps. I stood us under the bleachers and grasped his face in my hands, moving it into the light to get a better view. Yep, they were fangs alright.

They were sharp and protruding and shiny. They sat there in his mouth, teasing me and testing me, giving me a glimpse of them in order to put me off my promise. Well they could fuck off! They didn't scare me, not one bit, and I knew that the moment for my promise to be fulfilled had come. But first I had to calm Edward down.

"Shhh…" I said, brushing his hair from his face as his body trembled. "Eddy-Bear, it's okay."

"The adrenaline… All I could smell was the adrenaline, and then the blood… The fangs just appeared, Bella… I'm hungry… So hungry."

My eyes scanned the ground, quickly landing on a sharp pointed rock. I quickly bent down, grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket. "Come with me," I said, taking Edward's hand and running him into the empty school.

The place was deserted and dark, making it seem almost eerie. The main doors had been left unlocked so that fans could use the school's bathrooms. So that's where I headed, our footsteps echoing throughout the vast corridors. Not many girls had come tonight, so I headed for the girl's bathroom, believing it to be the safest option.

I slammed the door open, pushing it so hard that it ricocheted off the wall behind it, and quickly switched the lights on. They flickered a little before illuminating the room. I got a much better look at Edward in the brighter light. His skin was as white and pale as snow, the rings around his eyes were dark and purple, making him look tired and worn, and his eyes… they were pitch black.

"Oh, Edward," I whispered as tears welled and stung the back of my eyes. I'd never seen him so helpless and so weak before. I thought the night I'd discovered him was bad enough, but now he looked utterly broken. Purely seeing him was enough to kill me. I couldn't let him go on like this. I didn't care what his reaction to my promise was anymore.

He was having my blood whether he wanted it or not.

I literally thrust my arm into his face, making sure the veins in my wrist were pointed directly at his mouth. His weary eyes focused on my wrist, then on my face before going back to my wrist. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his eyes once again went back to my face. He wasn't fucking getting it!

"Bite… Drink… Take the blood, Edward," I said calmly.

His eyes widened then, his body throwing itself back as far from me as it possible could.

"NO!" he yelled. "Are you fucking insane? What the hell, Bella?"

"Edward, you need it, take it. Please," I pleaded.

"No. Fucking. Way! I can never take blood from you. No, I'd never dream of it."

"Good, because I'm _giving _it to you. Edward, please."

"No, Bella. No."

I let out an annoyed sigh before approaching him, grabbing his wrist and dragging him into one of the cubicles, locking the door behind me. The smell of my blood would be much stronger in a tiny and confined space.

"Right," I began. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either you take it from me or I'm going to force the stuff down your throat! It's your choice, Edward."

"Don't you get it?" he asked. "I could kill you, actually kill you. How can I ever think of doing that to you? Do don't understand what you're asking me to do here."

"You won't kill me," I said softly, slowly sliding my hand into my pocket and grasping the rock I'd picked up before. "I trust you, Edward, I always have. And I would happily trust you with my life. No matter how angry or hungry or aggressive you get, you'd never kill me."

"What if I can't stop?" he asked, his voice almost begging with me and pleading with me.

"You will," I said, cupping his cheek with my hand. "You can stop. I trust you. Please… let me help." I pulled the rock from my pocket and drew the sharp point across the skin of my wrist, a slight slit opening in its trail. "Fuck," I whispered as the pain of the open wound hit me. That fucking hurt! Blood began to seep from the cut and I once again raised it to Edward's mouth. "Here."

There was no questioning or debating after that. Now he had no choice. The second Edward smelt the blood, he grabbed my arm and latched his lips to the cut, his mouth sucking and his tongue sliding across the wound. His eyes closed as the blood filled his mouth and a contented sigh left his mouth as he drank. I stood there shocked for a few seconds as he fed. The whole scenario was so surreal. My best friend was drinking my blood. Yeah, this sounded fucking insane. Edward finally pulled away.

"So good... but it's not enough." He looked into my eyes, almost looking for my assent before he dropped my wrist, bent his head down, cradled my head in his hands, and allowed his fangs to pierce the skin on my neck.

I let out a gasp and a pained cry as the sharp pain of his fangs in my neck registered in my head. Fuck, fuck, fuck it hurt. I stiffened immediately and my body tried to pull away, a reflex reaction to the danger I was in. But Edward's grip was tighter than my fighting body's. I closed my eyes as tears began to fall down my cheeks, my legs almost giving way from the sudden bite. But Edward caught me, he held me in his arms, he pressed his chest against mine and stroked my hair as he drank from me. I wrapped my legs around his waist in order to raise my body and give him better access to my neck.

He pressed me up against the wall, trapping me, blocking me in, making escape impossible, causing me to moan as he drank from me. My arms wrapped around his body, holding onto him for dear life as I felt myself get weaker and weaker. My head dropped to rest on top of his as my lips brushed gently against his hair. He pressed into me harder, his hands going everywhere. My arms, my back, my stomach, my ass, my thighs, anywhere to get a tight and secure grip on me. His hands brushed across my breasts, along my collarbone and up into my head, his fingers threading with the strands as the bloodlust took him. I could not help but let out a throaty groan at the feel of his hands on my body. I'd never groaned at Edward before.

This was sorta hot...

He moaned and sighed with each drop of blood he took, my mind wondering whether he felt how hot this was too, and I finally felt the pain subside into contentment and pleasure.

I was helping him, I was aiding him, he was going to be okay. I could already see the paleness of his skin dwindling into something darker and more lifelike. His body had stopped trembling too, his weakness turning into strength as he held my entire weight in his arms. The blood was working… he was getting better… And I was feeling pretty good about all this too.

"Edward…" I sighed as his mouth eventually stopped drinking and pulled away from my skin, his tongue cleaning the bite wounds before he buried his entire face in my neck. His breathing was labored, his body was still, but he never let me go. No. In fact, he held me even tighter, wrapping my body into his, holding me like something breakable and precious... Like a lamb.

My tears slowed as I lowered my head forward and kissed his forehead over and over. I brought my hands into his hair, easing him and calming him, stroking the hair behind his ears where I knew he liked it. "Better?" I asked.

"Bella, are you okay?" he whispered, his voice muffled by my neck. "Please tell me you're okay."

I smiled and rested my cheek on top of his head. "I'm fine, I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh, thank god," he replied, his lips leaving trails of kisses across my sensitive skin. It felt… good. "You screamed… so I thought…"

"I'm fine," I replied. "See? I told you you'd stop. Didn't I tell you?"

"Yeah, you did," he replied gently as he pulled his head back to look at me. His eyes were no longer black, they were a bright red. "I can't believe I just did that."

"Me neither. But I'm glad you did," I said. "You needed the blood. All that I did was encourage you a little."

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Bellsy-Boo." He ran his nose across my cheeks before he rested his forehead on mine, rubbing gentle circles into my back as he held me. "God, you don't know how good that was. You tasted fucking amazing."

Yeah, I blushed at that one! My face felt hot and as red as a tomato. I quickly composed myself. "You're welcome," I answered. "Anytime. And I mean anytime. If you need human blood, just come to me, okay? The Cullens said-"

"The Cullens?" asked Edward, looking at me once again. Yeah… looks like it's time to pull the plan out into the open. He listened intently as I retold the discussion I'd had with Jasper and Rosalie. I told him about the animal blood, the weaning, the fact that I had volunteered. I told him everything.

"But I don't know if I can take blood from you again," Edward argued. "Just drinking from you now was tough enough. What if I don't stop next time?"

"You did it once, so I know you can do it again. Besides, you'll be taking less next time and it will get easier. This has to be done, and taking the blood from me is the only logical way to do it. I _want_ to give it to you."

"Bella... are you a hundred percent sure about this?"

"Yes," I said. "I've never been more sure. I want to help you in any way I can, and if this happenes to be the way, so be it."

He rested his forehead on mine again and let out a breath. "You know I'd be nothing without you, don't you? You're too good to me, Bellsy-Boo."

"I know," I giggled.

"And you know I fucking love you for all this, right?"

"Yeah, I love you too," I replied, kissing the tip of his nose, causing him to chuckle. "But right now, I'd love to go home even more. I'm tired and my head kind of hurts."

I wasn't fucking kidding. It was like a thousand hammers were pounding my head all at once. The blood loss was taking effect already.

"Of course. Do you think you can stand?" he asked as he pulled away. Bad idea. The second Edward let me go, I sunk down. Thank fuck that Edward's quick reactions were able to catch me before I hit the ground. "Hmmm, I guess not," Edward smiled.

"It's not funny," I said, batting his shoulder, but found myself giggling too.

"Come on," he said, picking me up. "I'll text Jacob when we get to your truck. I'm sure he can find his own way home."

"Emmett will take him back," I said as I wrapped my legs around Edward's waist and allowed him to carry me. He unlocked the cubicle door and carried us from the bathroom and into the dark corridors of the school. I felt my head begin to droop in sleep and I rested it upon his shoulder, hugging him to me like a child would its mother.

"Hey, come on, I need you to stay awake. No sleeping," Edward said as he carried us outside.

"I wasn't sleeping… I was merely resting my eyes," I said.

"Bullshit. You were sleeping and you know it. I don't want you sleeping until you've taken something to help you."

"I have some iron tablets in the truck that Rosalie gave me."

"Then you aren't sleeping until you've had them," Edward smiled as we finally reached my truck. I pulled my keys from my purse and he let us both into my baby. He made sure I was fastened in before walking around and getting into the driver's seat. After he quickly messaged Jake, he switched the engine on and we headed home.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and I shuffled up to Edward's side. I wrapped my arms securely around his waist before resting my head on his shoulder.

"It's dangerous to ride without a seatbelt," he said as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't care," I shrugged.

I heard him chuckle. "Where are those iron tablets?"

"In the glove compartment," I answered. I quickly retrieved them and pulled my bottle of water from my bag. I took two tablets and a mouthful of water. I put everything away and resumed my position at Edward's side.

"Comfy?" he asked.

"Very," I said as I allowed my eyes to close.

I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Good."

We stayed in relative silence after that as my body drifted in and out of sleep. It is always hard to sleep when Edward's body is pressed up against you! He held me so tightly, yet so gently at the same time. His lips would occasionally just brush against some part of my head, be it my hair or my face, and my mind could not stop thinking about how good it had felt to have him feeding from me.

He had been so primal as he did it, so passionate and so strong. He was a pure vampire during the feed, but he was also Edward. He touched me, he held me, he took my very life source from me. But it was all so hot! To have him hold me and touch me so intimately was something I'd never experienced with him before. Sure, we hug all the time and we hold hands like it's going out of fashion, but never as close and personal as that.

I liked it… I really liked it.

"We're home," I heard him say as my eyes blinked open. He was right. We were parked in my driveway, the house standing in front of us. All the lights inside were off, so I knew mom, dad and Bree were all asleep. I sat up and stretched as Edward got out the car, ran around to me, and opened my door.

He didn't even give me the chance to try to walk. He picked me up immediately and pressed me to his body. I gave him my front door key and he let us in, running me up to my bedroom, closing the door behind him. He laid me gently on my bed before closing my curtains and switching my lamp on.

"You don't need to do all this you know," I said as he took a seat on my bed and began slipping my shoes off.

"Of course I do," he smiled as he stood up and went to sort some nightclothes out for me. "You helped me tonight so I'm going to help you. And no fucking arguing."

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Fine."

"Now sit up, I need to get you changed."

"I'm not a vegetable, Edward. I can get dressed."

"Bella, you can barely walk. Now, up."

I did as I was told. I sat up and allowed him to pull my shirt off - he closed his eyes of course. Edward had always been a gentleman - and he quickly slid a tank top over my body. My bottom half was a little more complicated since Edward refused to open his eyes to see what he was doing. Damn idiot! We had seen each other naked before, so what was the problem? Granted, we were like 3 and 4 years old at the time, but the details don't matter. Besides, I was in my underwear right now, he couldn't see anything!

When I was finally changed, I settled in under the quilt and Edward tucked me in, making sure I was warm at all sides. He was like a mother hen! When he knew I was warm, he lay next to me, wrapping his arm around my stomach and pulling me to his chest.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," I told him. "You need to go hunt. You need some animal blood in your system."

"Not till you go to sleep," he said, gently brushing his thumb across my cheek. "I'm not leaving you till I know you're alright."

I smiled and rested my head on his chest. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Then prove it by going to sleep," he answered, stroking my hair soothingly and kissing my head softly.

Well, I couldn't very well resist after he did that! I was asleep in seconds.


End file.
